Everyday Judaism · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Ask Away series on the Everyday Judaism podcast. To have your questions answered on future episodes, please email askaway at torchweb.org. Now ask away.

Welcome back everybody. Welcome back to the Ask Away segment of our Everyday Judaism podcast. Ask Away number 27, wow, 27 episodes already dealing with questions that are so relevant to our everyday life as Jews. Any question that anyone has, those of you listening online, those of you who are watching
online, please join us by asking your questions. You can send your questions to askaway at torchweb.org, askaway at torchweb.org. We look forward to addressing your questions, whatever they may be. Without any further ado, my dear friends, we are going to turn the floor to you and Eliana, please. Yes, I have a question going back to washing hands. I have a very large vessel and I fill it up to the top in the morning.
And what I do is I start at the wrist, go to the fingers, and then turn my hand as I'm going up and make sure and I pour on the bottom. Is that okay? It's okay if it's one flow of water. The halacha says, okay, for those of you who are just tuning in, we just finished an episode of the Everyday Judaism podcast about washing our hands before eating our meal. So the halacha is clear about that it needs to be one flow of water.
As long as it's one flow of water, yes, you can do it. Now, if you could wash the whole hand with one pouring, that's the best. But if you have a specific system that works for you, as long as it's one continuous flow, that's fine. Okay. Bruce, you came juiced with questions here. I have two short questions and then one that- I love those short questions are the longest answers, right? No, no. One which I think you'll have a lot to say on.
But the first one was you've halfway to answer one of my questions. It's okay to use running water instead of the vessel to wash your hands? So the halacha says it should be koach gavra, which means human force. It should be with a human force. So just running water is not human force. But if you turn on the faucet and turn it back off, that little first spurt of water is human force because you're doing that. So that would be fine if you don't have another vessel.
If you don't have. The ideal would be for a person to have a vessel and there are many who appropriately prepare the water the night before. They prepare it next to their bed so they don't have to walk to their bathroom or to their sink area where they wash their hands. They shouldn't have the tuma, their impurity on their hands for such a long period of time and therefore they want to rush and ensure that their hands are clean as quickly as possible.
Right next to their bed they have the washing cup right there with a vessel to receive the water and then you pour it out and you make sure that water is not poured out where people will walk. You make sure that you don't use that water for anything. Make sure your dog doesn't drink from that water either because it's impure water and spill it out so that it's not used by anybody. Okay? Okay.
So now back to your question, regular flowing water from a sink should not be used. It's better to turn off the faucet, turn it on, turn it on and off and on and off and each time your hand is being washed again with kach gavro, with a human force. Yeah. Second question. There's, except for the, there's a male to be in the middle, a whole string of commands to say if you're impure because you did this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Right. Right.
So those are things that were, which were relevant in the time of the temple, in the service of the temple when people had, first is when there was ritual impurity, number one. Number two is that when, when, like for example, if someone became contaminated because he came into contact with the corpse, right? So that's the Avihavos HaToma, it's the highest form of Toma. The only way to get out of that would be seven days of separation, et cetera, et cetera.
But then in order to get into a state of purity, there would need to, today we don't have those laws. So it's not only the Kohen. We said that there are various other circumstances that one would be required to immerse themselves in a body of water of a kosher, biblically kosher mikvah. Okay. So, so if we ever have a temple again, we'll deal with it then? Yes, indeed. When we have a temple, God willing, it'll be rebuilt speedily in our days.
We will have a temple and in the, then you'll have, for example, in order for someone to eat Trumos, Masros, it would be brought to the temple. Offerings, any of the Karbanos, any of the, any of the offerings that were brought in the temple, a Kohen who was impure could not eat from it unless he went to the mikvah and the halacha talks about all of the different categories of impurities. The Talmud talks about it in great, great detail. It would wait till nightfall.
They would have to go to the mikvah then and then. So all of that is part of the process of, yes. But today in our generation, there is no biblical obligation for a man to go to the mikvah for any reason. For women, there is a very strong biblical reason for a woman to go to a mikvah, a woman every time she menstruates, before she can resume marital relations with her husband, which is generally after seven clean days.
So it would be 12 days generally, not sooner, 12 days generally from the beginning of her period would be the time that she would go to the mikvah. It would be usually about five days for it to clean up and then she begins seven clean days. Those seven clean days are counted and then at the end of that seventh day, now there's a long process to it. We are going to get to those laws later.
This is the most amazing laws in Judaism, dealing with family purity and one is encouraged, if one is in a marriage, they should ensure that their wife does go to the mikvah before they are together if she hasn't done so already. I want to share with you an amazing story. I had a woman who came over to me here and she said that when she was reciting the Shema every day, she felt like her soul was leaving her body and it's not a crazy lady. She's a regular.
She felt like her soul was departing. So what do I do? What do I do? So I said, you have to speak to a Kabbalist. I called up someone I know who's very, very holy and spiritual and understands these hidden things and he said to me right away, he said, she needs to go to the mikvah. So I went back to this woman and I said to her, have you ever gone to the mikvah? She says, never in my life. Never gone to a mikvah.
So I said, do you need to go to a mikvah? She says, yeah, but I'm already in menopause. So it's like not relevant. I said, you have to go to the mikvah one time and then you're good for life. And indeed, she went to the mikvah and she never had it again. There's a spiritual component to the physical body. They're all connected. They're very, very strongly connected and this woman has grown in unbelievable ways subsequent to that in her Judaism.
So it really is a special thing. It's an important thing. I know people who are not Shomer Shabbos but they will never be with their husband without going to the mikvah prior. That's something that they're not willing to bring children to this world in a way of impurity. So it's very, very, very special. I recommend that people also keep Shabbos. But that's just an editor's note. OK. Yes. Here's the possibly complex one. I joined a forum, a platform, and it's a business platform.
It has people on it from all over the world and a young – supposedly a young man, unsupposedly, from Gambia contacts me and sends me one thing introducing himself. The very next contact from him was, we're starving to death and my brothers are starving to death. Can you in any way send us some money? Well, you know, I'm a suspicious person to begin with, with a background in law. I can pretty well smell a scam a mile away.
Now I have the moral awakening through being in your class to know that we're supposed to judge everybody with a good eye and that we're not supposed to ask a person who is asking us for tzedakah in order to qualify his reality. Yet I have no desire at all to give money to something that is obviously a scam to me. This might not even be a young man nor may he even be from Gambia, as he says, nor any
of the photos he sent me possibly any relation to him at all. I need your input on this, how to respond, if to respond at all or just to ghost him. OK. So first is be weary of forums online, OK? Because you don't know who the people are and there are many, many creeps like this on many, many forums that I highly recommend you not communicate with ever. You never know what is going on behind that.
In general, I'm not a fan of giving to any cause that I'm not familiar with. I don't think I and I know people who've lost hundreds of thousands of dollars, their life savings on scams like this. Yeah. So I highly recommend that you don't give. There's plenty of good causes right here in our community. You don't need to give in Gambia. It says, the poor of your community come first. And if you know someone in your community who doesn't have food for Shabbos, give them.
If you know someone in your community who doesn't have a job, give them. If you know someone in your community who is needy in any other way, they take precedence over Gambia with all due respect to Gambia. I don't even know what that is. I assume it's in Africa. I have no idea. Yes, it's in Africa. But I just... It's not in Israel. What? That I know for sure it's not a city in Israel. But I say it's a big gamble giving to Gambia.
I wouldn't give. Well, more than just not give, should I alert the forum to the fact that I have suspicions about this? 100%. I had a guy on one of our group chats that somehow infiltrated, and this guy infiltrated many, many, many, many, many chats. There was news articles about this guy where he would come up with a Jewish name, and he'd say, hi, I live in such and such community. And he, being on these chats, learned a lot of the lingo.
And he'd say, I'm just $350 short on my rent, would you be able to help me? And he started this going around people on different chats, and good-hearted, unsuspecting people. And he would say, I'm on this and this chat with you, which would be like, wow, this guy is on the Tefillin chat, or he's on the whatever chat. And there were many people who felt to it. And this guy was bankrolling something special with all that money.
But I really, and all the chats that I was on, we kicked them off. We warned everybody, do not give money to people you don't know who they are. It's nice that you have rachamim, you have mercy in your heart, but don't be stupid. The first thing the Torah tells us, okay, the first thing, actually what the Torah doesn't tell us, the Torah doesn't tell us, to use common sense. Because that's obvious.
Hashem gave you a gift called a brain, and we need to use common sense at all times, and not just, oh, someone's told me a story, so what? So someone told you a story. That doesn't mean anything. Additionally, just like when you see these people at the street corner saying that they need money for a funeral for the last 10 years, they need money for that same funeral, right? You've seen those people? They don't leave.
They keep on having the same sign, trying to pull at your heartstrings. Oh, a funeral. It's a dead person. They would never do that about a dead person, right? Yes, they would, okay? So what I always say is save your money for more important things. I would give them a granola bar, right? You're welcome to take one from here if you don't, you know, take one from the Torah Center, bring it to them, give them something to eat, versus giving away your hard-earned money
for a cause that you don't even know really is true. So yeah, use common sense, and do not be reckless with your own finances. It's a responsibility that Hashem gives us. Hashem says, I'm gonna give you the money. I want you to do good things with it, and don't blow it on nonsense. Thank you. Great question. Thank you, Bruce. All right. David, pass the microphone, please. I do have a question about the temple.
So we know, you know, it's been built twice in Jerusalem, the Western Wall is still there and all. Is there a specific reason that the third temple would need to be built in that location? God wanted it built there. Is it something special about that area, or could it be built in Tel Aviv or anywhere else? That's an excellent question. Yes, it needs to be specifically there. If you remember, when Jacob had a dream, he says, וְיִּפְּקָה בַּאָמֹקָם וַיֹּוֹל אֶנֶשָׁם He appeared at the place.
What's that place? It says, כִּיִּזֶה שָׁעֲר הַשָׁמָיִן Because this is the gateway to heaven. It needs to be there. If you remember, in the temple, there was a pillar of smoke that would go all the way up to the heavens, unbroken. Even wind wouldn't sway it to different directions, it would go straight up. That is the gateway. That's why it's such an important place, the most sought-after piece of real estate in the entire world. It's right there. Why? Because
כִּיִּזֶה שָׁעֲר הַשָׁמָיִן This is the gateway to heaven. And it's such an important, such a holy, such an unbelievable place. Really an unbelievable place where everybody feels a connection to the Western Wall. That's, by the way, the remaining wall of not even the temple, okay? It's a replacement wall by, I believe it was Herod that built that wall. But it is a resemblance of the wall that was originally there. Some say that that's the only part of the temple that actually is the original wall
from King Solomon. Now, there was 390 or so years where the temple was in Shiloh, in Shiloh. And the temple stood there for a very, very long time before it was brought to Jerusalem. I've been to that temple as well. And it is magnificent. It is absolutely magnificent. They're doing now a lot of archaeological work there to reimagine what was going on deep underground. They're doing unbelievable things. Anyone who gets a chance to go to Israel, I recommend you go to the Shiloh area.
Try their wines as well while you're at it. Excellent wines. But also go see that whole area. They have a beautiful museum there. Very high-tech museum as well, where you can see videos of what was going on where they reimagined the surface of the temple. If you remember the Talmud that we once learned together in our Thinking Talmudist podcast about Hannah, when she prayed, V'chani hi medaberes aliba, where she was speaking from her heart and crying out to God.
And Elia Cohen said, she looks like she's a drunkard. Why? She was just talking with her lips, but nothing was being heard. See, he thought she was drunk. She was speaking from her heart. That was over there at Shiloh. She was in the temple of Shiloh. And we know that her son that was born from that prayer was Shmuel, who it says that Shmuel was even greater than Moses and Aaron combined. Moshe v'Aaron v'Chahanov uShmuel v'chorei Shmuel.
Shmuel was parallel in holiness, in greatness, to Moshe and Aaron combined. Really really special. That's the holiness of what came out of Hannah's prayer that was at Shiloh. But yes, so to answer your question, yes, the holiest place in the world is the Temple Mount. Because it is the temple, a place that was reserved only for the Chahanim, the high priests, it's a place that most people are of the opinion that the Jewish people should not go up onto the Temple Mount.
If you remember, by Yaakov, Yaakov took off his shoes. Sha'al na'alcha me'al raglecha. Take your shoes off from your feet because this is a holy place. It's a very very special place. There are many people who don't even touch the wall because tradition says that this is already the place of the holiness of the Temple is there still today. In actuality, the majority of people do touch the wall and as you can see, the wall is a very very powerful place.
I want to share with you one amazing story that I'm reminded of. I haven't said this story in many many years, so I want to tell you this story. Ripshal Meshadron was the Magid, was the tale teller of Jerusalem. He would say unbelievable stories and he was a very very holy, righteous Jew who lived in Jerusalem. We have some of his books here, some of the stories here. Rabbi Pesach Krohn wrote many stories, many books called Around the Magid's Table or The
Magid Speaks, very very famous books and we have some of them here in our magnificent torch library. One amazing story is that he was once at the Western Wall and these two thug looking individuals come roaring in with a motorcycle, they park right by the Western Wall, get off their motorcycle with their leather jackets and all and they take off their helmets, they come to the Western Wall and he's standing right there seeing this in front of his eyes and they give a
kiss to the wall, they put a paper in the wall, get back on the motorcycle and roar right off. And he's like, oh what would I pay to see what they wrote on that paper. So obviously you don't take a look at other people's prayers but a wind, an amazing thing, he says the story that an odd wind came, knocked the paper right off the wall right to his feet. So he says this is a sign from God that I should look at their prayer.
He opens up the prayer, the paper, and they, these two guys were actually soccer players on a soccer team, one of the Israeli league players. And they said over there, very simple words, God help our team win. And Ripshom Shredron said, this is perhaps one of the most powerful prayers he's ever seen. Just a simple prayer asking God for success. Simple words. They're soccer players. They ask for success in their soccer game.
They're having a final game, a championship game, whatever it is, that's what prayer really is. People think, oh, prayer is only, I can't pray about my game. I can't pray that I win my Mahjong game. I can't pray that, yes, you can. That's what prayer is. Prayer is having a conversation with God. Prayer is talking with the Almighty in the simplest way. Talking to God and saying, Hashem, please succeed my way. Hashem, please help me get that job.
Hashem, please give me the strength that I need to overcome this challenge. That's what prayer is all about. Most powerful prayer, just simple words on a paper. Hashem, help my team win. That's what prayer is all about. And Rav Shalom Shadron will talk about this every time he talked about prayer. He says, that's what prayer is. Learn from the soccer players how to pray. What's on your heart? That's what God wants to hear. What's on your heart?
Oh, I have to start thinking of fancy words and how am I going to, no, no, no, no. Be simple with God. Tamim ti yema she'al ha'kar. Be pure, be simple. Don't complicate your relationship with God. I hope I answered your question. Thank you, David. Thank you, David. All right, pass it on. Go for it, Chana. We don't talk about soap when we're washing hands. Does that come into play in what order? Soap? Yeah. So soap is not a requirement.
In fact, actually, just by the way, you know, today, there's a very big uptick. Now, let me just give an FDA disclosure. I am not giving any professional advice, no medical advice. Nothing that I'm saying here has any standing. So please, my dear friends, take this just as a word from an ignorant person sharing something that he has heard. I have a very, very dear, very, very close friend of mine who is a dermatologist. And he told me one of the worst things
you can do for your body is soap. He said it takes away the organic, the authentic protection that your body has in the oils. It cleans away the oils that the body naturally produces. And he said the best thing is for you to just go into a shower, do not use soap. Now, some of us think like, that's crazy. I need my Dove soap for soft skin, right? And all of that. And here he says, knowing the effects that it has.
Now, it's very interesting that many people today are suffering from eczema and suffering from skin diseases. It might be, it could also be from the water. Today, a lot of the water, we have our water expert here. I'm gonna wake him up now. He's gonna say, yes, actually, I do have some questions. So, because they put fluoride in water, they put all these other things in water, that could be affecting your skin as well. The pH levels, again, I'm not a professional in this,
and I already gave my disclaimer earlier. But soap is not a halachic requirement ever. I don't recall ever seeing the laws of washing hands having anything to do with soap. It's just washing your hands. The probably, probably the same thing. Probably the best thing for us is water. But again, we have to also understand that there's a whole world around us with so many different type of diseases and things like that. And maybe we do need more than water. I don't know.
Again, that's just a word from a dermatological professional, like world-class dermatological professional. So, I take his words very, very seriously. And many times, I would ask him, because I've gone to his office and I see all of these creams, all of these moisturizers, and I'd say, you think this would help? You think this is good? He's like, eh. We think this is like, I saw the article, I saw the advertisement on television. It's gonna give me such soft skin,
and it's gonna make my body glow, and it's gonna make my hair so this and my hair so that. We're putting chemicals on our body that I have no idea. Again, I'm not an alarmist, and I'm not here an anti-vaxxer, and I'm not an anti-anything. I'm just saying, do your own research. But the halachah does not, from a halachic standpoint, to answer your question, there's no requirement for soap at any time. Go for it. The order of prayers. So this happened this week.
Before I got to say Modi Ani and Hashem Neshama, I was challenged with saying the Asher Yetzar, but then I hadn't even washed my hands yet, and so I was like, not awake, and I'm trying to figure out the order that I should proceed. That's an excellent question. Thank you. So here's the thing. First, when you wake up, the halachah says not to jump out of bed right away. There are some people who call it lazying around in bed.
The halachah says that you should take a few moments before jumping out of bed. Now, there's also a, it's not a coincidence, the halachah never, ever makes mistakes. You will never find it. It'll always match up with medical research, okay? Do you know that doctors tell you that if you jump out of bed, it's very dangerous for your heart rate? Very dangerous. You're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to take a few moments and rest.
Oh my goodness, where did I see that? I saw that in halachah. Halachah says, Jewish law, do not jump out of bed, okay? So that way it gives you a moment to catch yourself before you start, like, I'm not even awake. Get awake, and then get out of bed. As soon as you wake up in the morning, you say Modi Ani L'fanecha. As soon as you wake up, because you don't need to wash your hands for that, you don't say Hashem's name.
Modi Ani L'fanecha Melechai V'kayom, Shehechazarta B'nishmosi, Bechem lo rabo emunosecha. What we are saying in these words is I am grateful and thankful to you, Hashem. Oh, living and eternal King, for you have returned my soul within me with compassion. Abundant is your faithfulness. So this is the first things that come out of our mouth every morning. Now, what a person should do, as Halachah describes, a person should then go use the restroom. And then, after doing that, you go wash your hands,
you recite the blessing of Al-Nitilat Yedayim, then you recite the blessing of Asher Yetzar, and then the rest of the blessings of Elokai Neshama, which you should, if possible, attach to the blessing of Asher Yetzar. So immediately after saying Asher Yetzar, you add Elokai Neshama. Now, if you look in our prayer podcast, we talk about this when we were talking about the Al-Nitilat Yedayim and the Asher Yetzar and the Elokai Neshama, that's the order in which we produced those episodes
of how they should be said as well. Now, there are some who will change the order of other parts of prayer. That we can handle on a different question. But now, to answer your question, your day starts with Modeh Ani, go use the restroom, wash your hands appropriately, recite the Al-Nitilat Yedayim, recite the Asher Yetzar, and that can qualify, by the way, not only for the washing of the hands of the bathroom, but also the washing of the hands
of waking up in the morning. Like we said, you wash that three times. You can also add a fourth, according to the Gona Vilna, where you're washing off the water of the last washing. Okay. So the body had an urgency, and that order wasn't readily available to me, let's say. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so again, so then, again, a person should, you have to follow the needs of your body. Okay, and without any exception. The Torah says,
you shall not destroy your body. And part of that is, a person holds themselves in when they do need to use the bathroom, it's not appropriate. You're not allowed to pray in such a condition. You're not allowed to recite a blessing. You're not allowed to eat. If you need the bathroom, you're not allowed to do anything else. It's a dangerous thing. It's literally considered a danger that one is placing their body in. So it should take precedence over everything.
You do what you need to do. And then if after you need to recite the Maldani, you do that as well, then. That's fine. I think it's the parakheya vote. Yep. That says you should find for yourself a teacher. Okay. So I'm not in a community, and I don't officially have a teacher. So what comes first, the chicken or the egg? And how does one go about finding a teacher for themselves? Okay, so it's a great question. So here's the thing.
I believe firmly that the first thing a person needs is to have a teacher. And the reason is because, you know, it's like if someone once went to a rabbi and said to the rabbi, what do I do? I only have 10 minutes a day, what should I study? Should I study Jewish law? Should I study Talmud? Should I study Musar study? So the rabbi said, study Musar. He said, why Musar? It's like the least important character development, that's what I should study?
He said, yeah, if you study Musar for 10 minutes a day, you'll see that you have more than 10 minutes a day. Okay, you'll see that you have more time than you're giving yourself. I think that if a person has a rabbi, the rabbi is able to open up things in the student where they can see the importance of moving to a community, where they can see the importance of being involved in a Jewish life. If a person does not have a rabbi,
that guidance is not gonna help them even if they live in a community. So the first thing a person needs to have is a guide and a mentor that can help navigate life. However, it's not easy to have a rabbi. I know people who have a rabbi, and if the rabbi tells them jump, they ask how high. There's no questions asked. And for some people, that's very uncomfortable. What do you mean? I'm not a puppet. No one's asking you to be a puppet,
but if you wanna get guidance, you have, and me with my rabbi, I can tell you that my rabbi, I told him, I said, rabbi, you realize that you have a very big responsibility because literally if you tell me jump, I'll ask how high. It's not a joke. I like, it's really that way. My children, when I have a, not a disagreement because I don't argue with my children, but if we have a dilemma and we wanna know how to figure this out,
my children already know that the answer is going to be, let's talk to rabbi. What does rabbi say? And my children will suggest that. They'll say, whatever rabbi says is what we do. That's Bible, finished, case closed. So a person needs to A, have a rabbi, and the rabbi is able to hopefully get to understand the nature of the person and know how to properly guide them on their journey. But to have a rabbi is not an easy thing.
When I became a student in yeshiva when I was about 17 years old, so the rabbi that I was learning from, Rav Beryl Eisenstein, Zechatz Abdullah Rocha of blessed memory, of righteous and blessed memory was my rabbi. I made him my rabbi. And as such, what I did was every morning, I would, I remember the first day I was in the yeshiva, I walked over and it's like, it's something you don't do because he's like the head rabbi of the yeshiva.
Like he has like hundreds of students. And like, I walked over to him very innocently and I said, can I learn with you? And I didn't mean just like learn in your class. I want to learn with you one-on-one. And he said, sure, I don't have a study partner for halacha, for the study of Jewish law right after the morning prayers. If you'd like, we can learn then for at least a half hour. And I did that every single day for almost two years.
I learned with my rabbi and we became so close. He became my rabbi muvvah, he taught me the majority of my Torah for a very long period of time. Additionally, when I was dating, he was my guide. And I talked to him before and after every single date. And I remember that there were times that I said, it was a good date, it was fine. But like, you know, I would talk it over with my rabbi, talk over the details.
And there are people who are listening to this who might say, that's ridiculous. Okay, don't you have your own intellect? Don't you have your own brain? Don't you have your own? Let me explain something. We can sometimes make big mistakes because of our emotions. Hundreds of other situations in my life where I called him and got guidance from him because he knew me. We spent a lot of time, he knew what was needed. And it was a girl, dating, it was very, very intense.
I'll tell you why specifically my stories with my rabbi and the people we were dating. Because shortly after my wife and I got married, he passed away. And I remember the Friday night before he passed away, obviously I didn't know that he was going three days later to meet our creator. I was walking Friday night with my brother. My brother was heading back to yeshiva. He came to us for dinner, for a Friday night dinner. And he was walking back to his yeshiva.
I was walking, I said, you know, I'll walk you back. And I walked him past my rabbi. I said, you know, my rabbi, let's go just go say hello. I said, I know he wasn't feeling well. He had lung cancer, but he didn't tell anyone. He said he just had some back pain. He didn't want people to be alarmed or whatever. He said he just had some back pain. So I came into his house and there he is,
it was like 10 o'clock at night or whatever it was. And he was like slumped over his Talmud. And you can see he was frail, he was weak. And he was a young man, he was 53 years old when he passed away. So I asked him, I said, rabbi, how are you this and that? And he was very, very direct in saying, where are you learning right now? And I had told him before, he knew already I was in Kola,
I was in getting smicha from Rabbi Yitzhak Berkowitz, who's now my rabbi. And he said to me, you learn, he's a yasher, he's a straight person, make him your rabbi. I said, rabbi, are you going someplace? And three days later, he passed away. And I went straight from the funeral. I went to my rabbi, and who's now my rabbi, Rabbi Yitzhak Berkowitz, and now for the past 24 years, 23 years, he's been my rabbi. And I've counseled thousands of questions through him.
And some of your questions, I have asked him as well, if I didn't know the proper answer or what the proper guidance, what to do. Hundreds and hundreds of questions on marriage, hundreds and hundreds of questions on raising children. Aside for practical halacha questions, these are all things that I still, when I was in Israel now, reserved time to go meet with him in his office, to talk to him and to just, I said, like, I don't have any questions.
You're my doctor, you're my spiritual doctor, give me a checkup. Like, you know, that's really what I came for. You're my teacher, you're my master. But I will tell you that it's not easy, because you have to run after your rabbi. The rabbi, he's never, ever called me. Hey, you haven't called me this week. Why haven't you called me? Right, you're my student, you should be calling me. Why haven't, if I don't call him for a year,
he's not gonna be calling me, all right? He's busy enough with life. He's busy enough with his students, with his yeshiva, with his responsibilities, and he's not gonna be running after me. That's a mentality that people have a difficult time adapting when they're seeking a rabbi. Rabbi is not going to be running after you. You need to run after the rabbi. As Selechah Rav, the rabbi, that Mishnah tells us, you have to make for yourself a rabbi.
That means you need to make yourself a student that you need to go and you need to seek. And if you try once and twice and three times and four times, I remember one of the other graduates from our kolel who got smicha and lives here in Houston as well, still today, was working in TORCH, and we had a question that we needed to get resolved. So I told him, you should call rabbi and ask him. So he said, oh, it's pointless.
I tried so many times and it doesn't work. He never picks up the phone. I said, you're trying the wrong way. So I put the phone on speaker. I called my rabbi's house with him right there, and the answering machine picks up the way it does for all the students. And I speak into the answering machine. I said, hello, this is Ari Wolbe. I'm calling from Houston, Texas. And I'm literally not gonna get off the phone till somebody picks up the phone.
And I will continue talking. And if the tape runs out on the answering machine, I will call back and call back. I need to speak. It's an urgent matter. I need to speak. And somebody would say, hello. And I said, hello. I said to my friend, that's how you reach rabbi. Okay, you need to be persistent because you're asking for his very, very precious time that he doesn't have. And you're fighting. It's like the squeaky wheel gets oiled first.
That's the way it works. There's pressing matters that come up all the time. And I can't tell you what my next 24 hours are gonna look like ever because there's so many things that come flying at you faster than the speed of light sometimes. And you have no idea, in 10 minutes, I could be traveling to Louisiana for, I had such a story once. Someone calls me up. He says someone passed away, a Jewish person passed away
in another 50 miles east of Beaumont. That's in Louisiana someplace up north of Lake Charles. And they don't have someone to do a Tahara and to bring the person to a Jewish burial. So do I continue my regular schedule or do I change everything to help a Jew have a Jewish burial, right? That's not on my schedule. But that happens. So you understand that even if I had a scheduled meeting with somebody, I'm gonna have to change that scheduled meeting
because of these unforeseen things. And these things come up all the time, not only life and death things, but other scenarios that are not foreseen in advance. So my encouragement to you is that, yes, pursue a rabbi, whoever that rabbi is, and make sure that that rabbi is a noble person, someone who's wise, someone who can spend the time to learn what it is that, who you are, so that they can give you proper guidance in life.
And by the way, you don't need to have one rabbi in every area of life. You can have a rabbi in financing that could be Dave Ramsey. You can have a rabbi in a rabbi for education, a rabbi who you ask your questions in Halakha. You can have a rabbi who gives you general guidance. You can have different rabbis guiding you in different things, but make sure that you are committed to learning from a rabbi at all times. And that's my encouragement.
That rabbi will teach you the importance of moving to a Jewish community as well and being part of a Jewish community because there's really no, there's no exchange for that. If a person is not in a Jewish community, we can try all day. It's not going to help us. You can't live on an island. You can't, you just can't. So I hope I answered your question. Yes, thank you. Okay, any other questions? Rabbi Yaakov Avinu told Lavan,
whoever you find the idols with shall die. So there's one of the Mefarshim that doesn't agree with Rashi. I forgot who he was. I don't know if the rabbi remembers. But he said the condition was for him to find. Correct. So he says, that's not the reason why our mother Rachel died. Right. Because he didn't find them. Correct. So I forgot who it was of the commentators, but why are we, or why is Rashi here strict with what Yaakov Avinu said?
And later on when it says, whoever has the silver cup, he shall die and we can become slaves. How come we're strict there but not here? Okay, so first is, okay, so the story that's told in the Torah of Yaakov, of Rachel, she took the goblet, let's call it, okay, the goblet from her father Lot's house. She hid it and she hid it in the pillow that she was sitting on. And then later on, we also see that Benyamin,
Benjamin, had the goblet of Joseph. According to some sages, that is the same goblet that Rachel took that Yosef put into Benyamin's bag. Okay, that means the story later continued with that same goblet. And that is the same goblet according to many that the Hanukkah oil was found in. Okay, so they're all linked and there's something very, very special about this and something very, very significant. But I don't wanna get into the details of that, but in one case it was found,
in one case it was not found. So when it wasn't found, it doesn't apply. That curse or that promise that whoever it's found in will die, right? It wasn't found. It was in hers, but it wasn't found. So there's a very, very technical thing here that you can't, it doesn't apply to something that doesn't exist. It wasn't found by Rachel. When she died a little bit later on, it was not because of that. By Benyamin, it was found.
It was found in his bag, but again, it wasn't stolen. So it was a ploy and it's a very interesting thing. We see Yaakov, I was noticing this yesterday during the Torah reading. We see that Yaakov, he says to the sons, why did you tell him that you have another brother? Right, he reprimands the 10 brothers. Why did you tell him you have another one? Don't we know that Yaakov is the pinnacle of truth, right? So why is Yaakov trying to trick Joseph
by not including information? So it's a very, very important principle. Plausible deniability, right? What's plausible deniability? Leaving out information doesn't make it information. If you don't disclose it, it's not a lie. It's omission. I don't need to share all the information that I know with you. Yaakov was saying, why did you need to include that piece of information? Now, there's another piece to this is that Joseph knew that there was a brother. Don't forget, it's his brother.
It's his biological brother from his mother, Rachel. So he did know that this brother existed, which is another piece that had they, which was a miracle, had they not mentioned that brother, they probably would have all been killed. And this whole story of Joseph is just the most remarkable story. I've said this many times, my favorite part of the, it's amazing, of course. Every piece of Torah is the most amazing. But Joseph, one second. Joseph, that story is just absolutely remarkable.
And the more you learn from the Midrash on all the backstory we have over here, the magnificent commentaries on the Torah, which is just like, is mind boggling. The depths of detail that the Midrash brings to the Torah to the surface from these stories. Joseph did not ask him. He accused them of being spies. And he said, no, we are all sons of one man. And we've got another brother. And one is no more. But he didn't actually ask him,
tell me about your family, did he? Right, right, but it was already, it was disclosed. And that's what Yaakov was asking. Why did you need to disclose that? It's like, why do you need to offer information? You're being interrogated. Don't offer information. Yeah, but. It's like I'm saying, this is not the first car I stole. Like, why, why do you need to say that? It's like, you know. Because when you're in the presence of someone
who has life and death over you and everyone else, the last thing you want to do is guess whether or not he already knows. Right, 100%, okay. It was from God that he said that. Again, but Yaakov doesn't know that this is Yosef. They don't know that it's Yosef. So Yaakov is asking, this is a stranger in Egypt. You're sharing information about our family, why? Why are you sharing this private information? Obviously, we see it from a 30,000 foot purview
where we know that it's Yosef. We know that it's Yosef. And we know that Hashem here is pulling all of the puppet strings. And we are just little puppets in God's magnificent world. Hashem should bless us with an amazing, beautiful, terrific, delicious week. Don't forget to maximize the last day of Hanukkah is upon us. Enjoy it, maximize it. My dear friends online, don't forget that you can be part of this as well by asking your questions at askawayattorchweb.org.
I look forward to seeing your questions and addressing them at future classes. My dear friends, thank you. Thank you, have a great week.

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