Everyday Judaism · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Intro (Announcement)

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Ask Away series on the Everyday Judaism podcast. To have your questions answered on future episodes, please email askaway at torchweb.org. Now, ask away.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Here we go.

Welcome back everybody to the Ask Away series of the Everyday Judaism podcast. This is our time to turn the floor to all y'all to ask your questions, and we're going to start with Gary. I love your beautiful smile. Good morning. It's so wonderful to see you.

Ask away.

Gary N.

Testimony, swearing, having gone to court, criminal, civil, having provided depositions, all sorts of things, you precede that with swear on the Bible. But the problem is, the Bible that they have is the Christian Old Testament and the Christian New Testament. And so the first time they put that in front of me, I said, on the Old Testament. And a rabbi once said, you shouldn't do that, and I'm saying, I know, but there I am, stuck.

What do I do? I can't make a swear or take an oath on a Christian Bible. So is there, how do I deal with this other than carrying a Torah around with me everywhere I go?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

That's a great question, Gary. So the Torah prohibits us from making any type of oath and any type of swearing that is not one that is mandated by the Torah.

So what do we do? And this is many times, as someone who becomes a U.S. citizen, they have to take the oath, right? They have to swear that they're accepting the laws of the land, et cetera, et cetera. But what are they supposed to do? The Torah says that you're not supposed to do such a thing.

And when you go to court, we have this many times, you go, I don't know, you get a driver's license. You have to just raise your right hand. This is things that are commonplace. So I believe that in the United States, you can say that I affirm, not I swear, but I affirm, and that's not taking an oath. That's something that you can do in the U.S., and that is something that is recognized by our government to equal an oath for legal matters.

And we have a lawyer here in our presence who's going to, I'm sure, enlighten us.

Gary N.

I'm trying to remember, is it I swear or I affirm? Because I remember asking, the statements being affirmed. So thank you for clarifying that. Now, when you're called up, sometimes you're just real busy with other things and you say, oh, I got to go.

So the idea of carrying our Bible with me and saying, excuse me, on this one, yes.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

That's right. You can bring your chumash, your nifty little stone edition art scroll chumash.

Gary N.

And before you put your hand on that, men, we're going to have to put a keep on it. That's correct.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

That's correct. Let me just pass the microphone to our in-house lawyer who's going to give us some clarification on this. Well, I'll teach you civil and criminal procedure. At least in Texas, at least in Texas and in almost every state that I know of, you no longer have to say, I swear, so help me God. You say either I swear or I affirm on penalties of perjury that I will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

You don't have to say, so help me God. They changed that decades ago. All right. Beautiful. Okay.

Thank you, state of Texas. And that's awesome. I have a question. You have a question. Go for it.

It has nothing to do with any of this. Perfect. That's the one. That's the ones we love. I went and visited my great grandfather's grave the other day and it said he was a Cohen.

He only had a daughter. My grandmother. Okay. I got a little bit scared there. Okay.

Yeah. So the question is, since he didn't have any sons, it's not transferred from the mother. Obviously none of us are Cohens. Am I correct? Correct.

But does the high priest have to marry the daughter of a Cohen? No. No. So it doesn't matter. It's just male and you forget the intervening women, et cetera.

If my great grandfather had a son and that guy had a son and I was the son of that guy,

Carlos C.

then I would be a Cohen.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Correct. But otherwise, it doesn't matter anything about the woman at all. Patrilineal descent, correct, from the Torah. Right. Except the things about a divorcee, et cetera, et cetera.

Correct. Okay. I just wanted to make sure that I got that straight. Okay. So let me just clarify this a little bit more regarding what we mentioned previously about my grandson's pigeon, Haben.

So in order to really fulfill this mitzvah, the father has to be an Israelite and the mother has to be the daughter of an Israelite. If she is the daughter of a Levi or a Cohen, the child does not have a pigeon, Haben. It's very rare that you have an actual pigeon, Haben. First is 50% are boys, 50% are girls. So right away, 50% are out.

Then you have how many are Cohen, how many are Levi, which is about 15, 20%. You're now down to 35%. And then you have, right, you understand? And then you have of those that are not C-section, that are not after a miscarriage, it has to be a natural birth, first pregnancy to a mother who is the daughter of an Israelite and the father is an Israelite. And then you can, if all of those situations fit in, then you have this mitzvah.

There were many people who were there who were in their seventies and eighties who had never been to a pigeon, Haben before. Never before. It's so, it's very rare. It's a very special mitzvah to perform. I have said this story before, I'll share it again, that when my wife and I found out that we were pregnant with our first child, we were living in Jerusalem and we were very, very excited.

And we immediately got into a cab and went straight to the Western Wall, straight to the Kotel. And we said, we want to pray, we want to pray that it should be a healthy baby, it should be a healthy pregnancy and the baby should grow up to be righteous and holy and everything and all the wonderful things that my son is. And I remember I was standing there by the Kotel and I said, Hashem, there's one mitzvah that I can only perform. I only got one shot at this. And that is a pigeon, Haben, redeeming the firstborn, please.

And this is the Talmud says that you can pray for the gender of the baby till 40 days. It's not, it's one of the examples of where the Talmud says it's not a futile prayer to pray before 40 days for the gender to be one or the other. After 40 days, it's locked in and it's considered a futile prayer. But this is well before 40 days. And we, and I said, Hashem, please give me a baby boy so that we can fulfill this mitzvah.

And I remember when we found out that my wife was pregnant the second time, I went right back in that cab, went straight with my wife to the Kotel and I said, Hashem, you did your job the first time, you can give me that girl you wanted to give me. And indeed he did. And it was a magnificent, beautiful girl. So it's an amazing opportunity and an amazing privilege to fulfill this mitzvah. But only an Israelite who is married to a daughter of an Israelite can fulfill this mitzvah.

Okay. It's very, very unique and very, very special. And I thank Hashem that I was able to be part of this celebration just this past Wednesday. Okay. You have a second question.

Carlos C.

Yeah.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Now I am confused. Okay. If she's the daughter of a Kohen, it doesn't pass the Kohenism into her son, then why does it have to be the daughter of an Israelite? That confuses me.

That's an excellent question. One that we'll get to. I promise, lean out there without a promise, okay, that we will get to it. I want to do a whole episode on Pidgin Abed to talk about it and to discuss all the details because I feel like I need to do this just for my grandson, Shlomo. I want to dedicate a class in his honor that we can learn about this great mitzvah.

So I'm working on it and I will get to it then in that episode, okay? I shall wait. All right. Thank you. Terrific.

Next question.

Ed S.

Okay, Ed, go. Yeah. Yom Kippur is on the 10th of Tishrei. Correct.

Which means that it cannot coincide with Rosh Chodesh. But I understand it. I have no idea. And I never understood why. Sometimes it does.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

No, it never coincides with Rosh Chodesh. Never, ever.

Ed S.

I've heard that because of some phases of the moon it can.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

No, no, no, no, no. Rosh Hashanah is always Rosh Chodesh, Tishrei.

But we don't count it as Rosh Chodesh because it's the beginning of the year. So it's a greater celebration than being the first day. That's what I thought. So it's always the beginning of the Hebrew month. The beginning of the Hebrew month on Tishrei is always Rosh Hashanah.

And it's always a two-day holiday, whether you're in the Diaspora or in Israel. It's always a two-day holiday, Rosh Hashanah. Yom Kippur is 10 days later.

Ed S.

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. But I read someplace that every now and then it could coincide.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

No, it's a mistake then. Okay. It's a mistake then. Write to the editor and tell him he's got some big mistake there in his print. You straighten that one out.

Okay. It's always the 10th of Tishrei that Yom Kippur falls out on. Okay. Good question. Bobby, welcome back to our class.

Thank you. Do you have a question?

None

You want to join us?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Carlos, go for it. Carlos had questions last week, and I turned off the recording before we got to it, so I apologize.

Carlos C.

No. Publicly. The rabbi said a story of his friend last week. He wanted to give tzedakah, and he asked Hashem for a sign. Yes.

My question was, I've heard both answers that is good and others that is not good. Is it dangerous or safe or proper to ask Hashem for a specific sign or anything?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Yes, it's perfectly fine to communicate with Hashem and ask Hashem, Hashem, I want to see your glory. I want to see that you're listening to me. Send me a sign.

I want to share with you an amazing story. I think we talked about this in our class here. One of the incredible hostages that was released said that he was down, you know, that's 60 feet beneath the surface. These tunnels are like, it's not to be believed, the suffering that these hostages experienced. And he's like talking to God, and he's saying, Hashem, please, like, just show me a sign that you hear me.

Show me a sign that they haven't forgotten about me. Show me a sign. And his captor had a two-way radio on his belt. The captor was watching over him, and he fell asleep. And the radio picked up a signal as soon as he was saying, Hashem, please, show me that you hear me.

Show me that I haven't been forgotten. His two-way radio picked up Israeli radio signal, 60 feet underground. And he hears, while his captor is sleeping, he hears the radio from Israel, where his mother is being interviewed. And his mother says, if my son, if you hear me, I want you to know we haven't forgotten you for a second. And we're doing everything we can to get you out.

And then the radio goes off. I want to share with you something else. You may have seen videos. And if you haven't, I'm going to share it to the group, to our class group. A video was just released by the IDF with a recovered video footage of the six hostages that lit the menorah while they were underground.

And this is part of what would happen in these types of situations where you have hostages. You can't be mean to them all the time, because then you're not going to get what you want out of them. So they'll die, and it's over. So they have to, it's a give and take. So one of the gives that they had is they gave them a menorah to light the menorah.

These six captors, they were later murdered. This is the one with Goldberg, yeah, Poland, Goldberg. So they were lighting the menorah there. And again, these, they heard that the Israelis were near their tunnel. They just shot them point blank, and they were all murdered in cold blood.

Two days later, they were recovered by the IDF. But you see this video of these hostages lighting the menorah on Hanukkah. Number one is the intention and the focus that they displayed while lighting that menorah is so inspirational. When I saw that video, I said, I am jealous. I hope one day in my life I merit to light the menorah with such intention, with such focus, with such dedication, with such love.

One day to merit to fulfill the mitzvah so perfectly like they did. Secondly, the light. They were there in a tunnel. The light that they brought to the world from underneath that tunnel is just unfathomable. We wonder, specifically, when is Hanukkah?

When the night is longest. When it's night from four o'clock in the evening already, it's already nighttime. We bring that light when it's most dark. We don't have it when it's summertime. We don't have the holiday of Hanukkah when it's summertime, when we have long days, short nights.

No, we have Hanukkah specifically when it's long nights, short days, that we bring the light into the world. That's what they did. It's unbelievable. And the love, the joy, the emotion that they express in the lighting, in the singing, what do they have? What do they have to gain from lighting the menorah?

What? When you think about it, like, come on, just give it up. And they told him that, by the way. Some of the hostages that were released said, they said, just let go of all of your Judaism already. Just become Muslim, just convert, and just let go of it, and we'll set you free.

You know what I mean? It's like, no. True conviction. We should not be taking off our stars of David. We should not be taking off our yarmulkes.

We should not be taking off our Jewish identity. And we should not be taking away our menorahs. We put that menorah with pride. We wear our Judaism as a badge of honor, not to run away from it. And we should feel proud wherever we go that we're Jewish.

Yeah, I'm not going to hide it. I'm not going to hide it. This is such an amazing display of courage, such an amazing display of love by our brothers and sisters. It's just, and of course, I can't let our class go without mentioning something about what's happening in Australia and what happened in Brown University just in the last 24 hours. Tragic.

But I think that we have to not hide and not say, you know what, we have to do things with more security and more, yeah, that also. Everybody I know today is strapped with their firearm, if they're able to. That's one thing, yes, fine. But not hide our Judaism. We should not be hiding anything.

The more, the merrier. We have to go out, and if we want to go on that Hanukkah parade with the cars and display your joy and your excitement for being part of the Jewish people, go to an event. Go to a Hanukkah party. Don't be afraid. And if it's a public lighting up in the woodlands, do it.

And in Sugar Land, do it. And in Pure Land, do it. And in Houston, do it wherever you can. Be part of it. It should be an elevation for the souls of those who were brutally murdered out in Australia just for being Jewish.

By the way, it happens to be if there's any way to die, that's probably the best way in the world, okay? Because to die al kiddush Hashem, to die under the sanctification of God's name, is the absolute highest level one can ever dream for. They're dying for one reason and one reason only. They're Jewish. That's it.

They were murdered because they were Jewish. Just as every single one of those who were brutally murdered in the Holocaust, who sanctified their name, because I'm not going to let go of my Judaism. I'm not going to let go of my Judaism. You want to know something amazing? Do you know that the guards in Auschwitz knew the Shema by heart?

You know why? Because they heard it millions of times. That means Jews, religious, not religious. The last words that came out of their mouth was the yell of Shema Yisrael. The guards knew it.

I was just in Israel last week and I met a father of a fallen soldier, a fallen IDF soldier. He was hit by a direct rocket from southern Lebanon, from Hezbollah. He got up to the microphone and he said, and it was an event, it was a party, it was like a lot of people were happy and dancing. And he said, you're probably wondering, how can I be happy? And he said, how can I not be happy?

He said, kol ma do'avid rachmanol etavavid. We learned this in the Talmud a few weeks ago, in the Thinking Talmudist. Everything the Almighty does is for the good. Yes, it's a little painful, very painful. The son was murdered.

But kol ma do'avid rachmanol etavavid. I heard that. I started crying. I was like, this is a special man. He understands, he understands what's going on in this world.

He understands everything the Almighty does is for the good. We don't always understand it. We don't always see it. We don't always feel it. But we have to know and reassure ourselves, like the Talmud says, always repeat it.

Kol ma do'avid rachmanol etavavid. Everything the Almighty does is for the good. In what way? We have no idea. All right.

Next question, Carlos.

Carlos C.

On way number 35, love and accept criticism, the rabbi talked about projection. And that's what Hassan said, that whatever thoughts you see in you, in somebody else, that means it's, you have them. So how hard do I have to be on myself to know that if I see something bad in someone, that means it's me? Or like, for example, like, get the lace rail, rebuking someone, and you would think that, oh, he, he, he's that wrong in him, and he.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Okay. So let me, let me, let me clarify the question to everyone. Okay. So the Talmud says an amazing thing. Talmud in Tractate Nida says, I think it's 70a, says the following, kol haposel b'mumoposel.

The way you seize the flaw in another person is seeing their own flaw. The Baal Shem Tov more recently, only 200 years ago, says another interesting thing. He says that whatever you see going on in the world is a mirror reflecting back to you. That means that the whole world, the Talmud in Sanhedrin says, a person should always say b'shvilini v'raolam, the world was created for me. What does that mean?

Not being selfish. I'm going to be selfish, and the world was for me, so I'm the only one who eats. I'm the only one who drinks because it's all for me. No, that's not what it's referring to. The idea is you have to understand that there's the world of Bobby.

Okay. There's the world of Bobby, and all around that world of Bobby, all of your experiences that you have, the people you meet, the people you see, the people you interact with, the supermarket that you go shop from, and the interactions that you experienced, all of those were custom tailored for you. All of them were custom tailored for you to learn and bring you to the greatest perfection possible that you can attain. So what happens is like this. Imagine you go, when I gave this example there, I think on that recording, and you're talking about the 48 ways, right?

So you go to Walmart, and I don't know if you've had this experience. I definitely have had it, where you see a parent yelling at their child. And you wonder like, why did I need to see that? I could have been 10 aisles over and not seen that, and not heard it, right? They're yelling at their child, bad kid.

What are you doing? Why are you touching this? They're screaming, yelling, whatever they're doing, hollering. Why did I need to see that? A person shouldn't say, oh, that's a bad parent, terrible parenting.

No, no, no, no. What message is Hashem sending me? Hashem is sending me a message. What's the message that I need to take from that? Maybe I need to improve a little on my parenting.

Maybe I need to be a little bit more patient with my children. Maybe I need to be a little bit more loving. Maybe I need to get more... A person needs to introspect and see that's a mirror of me. So before we start pointing fingers at everybody else, saying, oh, this person's that, and this person's this, it's a reflection of me.

I saw it because God... Now, it happens to be also, from a psychological standpoint, the things that you're challenged with are the things that irritate you. I'll give you an example. My rabbi once said an interesting story. He said it was Yom Kippur night, and he was praying in synagogue, and the guy standing next to him was annoying him so much.

You know why? Because, you know, sometimes the button hits the table, and the guy was shaking back and forth, shuckling in his prayer, and he's like, hello, why don't you be more considerate of the people around you? And he hears that, you know, that button slapping against the table every time. And then he looked, and he saw it was his own button hitting the table. But this is like an instant...

You're blaming everybody else, but not looking at yourself. He didn't see that it was actually him. You know, it bothers you how they eat. Did you ever look at yourself how you eat? It bothers you how they get angry.

Did you ever look at yourself how you get angry? It bothers you how they drive. Did you ever look how you drive? Okay, and this is the principle that our sages tell us, that we sometimes are able to cast judgment on other people without looking in the mirror and casting judgment on ourself first and perfecting ourselves, because those things that bother us about other people are usually because they're a reflection of our own flaws, which is why they bother us. I'll give you an example.

You ever had something that someone says to you, it's like, isn't that annoying? And you're like, no, like, it doesn't bother me at all, right? It just doesn't, it's not in my cards. It just doesn't bother me at all. Like, okay, look how they eat.

Doesn't that bother you? No, it doesn't bother me, right? Some people, it like irritates them, and some people, it just doesn't bother them. Why not? Because usually, because the person who it irritates has to perfect themselves in that area, and it like sort of, it's like putting a spotlight on it.

It puts a spotlight on it that now, uh-oh, I have to fix this, and it's not easy to fix things. It's not easy to make change in life. So when you see somebody else being arrogant, oh, they can't stop talking about themselves. Maybe a person needs to introspect and look at why does it even bother me? Sometimes it bothers me because I like to gloat, and I like to talk about my accomplishments, and I like to talk about myself, and that's why it bothers me.

So I need to work on that. And then when a person does, and I've had this from my own personal experience, that when you start working on those areas of life, you improve, you become better, and those things stop bothering you and other people. Why? Because it stops being, because now it's not relevant to you anymore, and now it shifts over to the next trait that we need to perfect ourselves in. It's an excellent question.

I hope I answered it appropriately. Okay. Any more? Carlos, you're good. You're good.

You're two for two today.

Chana S.

The question that I came in with was people ask rabbis for blessings regularly.

Speaker 8

Yep.

Chana S.

Okay. But I was thinking about the mistaken understanding of the laws of kashrut, right?

You ask anybody on the street, they think a rabbi blesses a food. Correct. And so I'm wondering if a blessing from a rabbi, no disrespect to you, but is it more meaningful? Does it carry more weight than a lay person? Because can't I bless someone?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Okay. That's a loaded question here. Okay. So first thing is like this. Let's deal with kosher because that's the easiest one.

Kosher does not mean blessed by a rabbi. Now what does it really mean? Kosher means that it comes from a kosher source. So if something that grows from the ground and you ensure that there's no bugs in it, you can eat it and you become that rabbi. Okay.

You are now that rabbi, right? So you ensure that there's no bugs in the lettuce that you eat, in any of the vegetables, any of the fruits. You can eat it. It's not a problem. So anything that grows from the ground.

A kosher animal is not enough for it to be a kosher type of animal. It has to be slaughtered properly. It has to be, as we learned in our Everyday Judaism podcast, it has to be soaked, has to be salted, has to be rinsed properly for it to be kosher. Not only the proper animal, the proper type of animal, which has split hooves, it chews its cud, but also slaughtered properly, soaked, salted, rinsed properly in order for it to be in the realm of kosher. So that, yes, there's a rabbi who oversees the process to ensure that it was indeed done properly.

I'll just tell you something very interesting, that my daughter, you may know, is a sheitelmacher. A sheitelmacher is a wig dresser, a hairdresser, whatever, not a hairdresser, but she's a wig maker. Okay. And she, I didn't even know all the things she does coloring and she does servicing of like, you know, washing and setting them and this and that, all the different services. Okay.

Great. Now she's learning about hair cutting. So when I was in Israel just last week, she asked me if I can go buy a scissor for her. So I go to the stores, one specialty store in Jerusalem that sells hair cutting equipment. They sell the shears and they sell all the different lotions and all the different, and the scissors and the combs and all of that.

So the lady tells me, which scissor do you want? I have a thousand different scissors. She says, I have anything ranging from 30 shekel to 10,000 shekel. Which one do you want? I said, I prefer towards the 30 shekel than the 10,000 shekel.

But she says, let me tell you something. This is a, it's unbelievable. She said, this scissor, the 10,000 shekel scissor and the 30 shekel scissor are just as good and they're just as bad if they get nicked. If they get nicked. Okay.

What does that mean? She says, this is only for here. You use it for one thread. It's gone. She says, you use it to cut just something, just a little piece of, no, nothing.

This is only used for here. You use this scissor for anything else, you ruined it. And she said, the same applies for the 30 shekel and the 10,000 shekel. If it falls, it's done. Go buy a new one.

It's done. She said, it's not worth it. She says, I have no problem. I have an interest in selling you the 10,000 shekel one, but you don't need it. She said, just be careful.

Make sure that this is only used for here and that it doesn't get nicked. And I was thinking, it's the most incredible thing because what did we learn in the laws of slaughtering an animal? Do you know that that knife is checked before every single slaughtering? Why? To ensure that it doesn't have a single nick on the knife.

And if you look at the thumbnail of a shochet, of a slaughterer, they have a long nail. And what they do is before they use the knife, they check the knife with their nail to see that there isn't a single nick on that knife because one single nick on the knife will cause extra pain to that animal. And that knife is considered a non-kosher knife if it has a nick. And they'll have to sand it down to make it that it is absolutely smooth. It's called, has to be smooth as you can possibly imagine.

That not a single nick appears when they examine that knife with their nail, right? So it's not just that you have kosher sourced. It has to be, the whole process has to be kosher. By the way, when they, today they're on assembly line, so they have a shochet who slaughters the animal. He knows exactly where on every single animal where it's slaughtered.

It has to be exact spot. The knife is new for every single animal. They have another rabbi behind them who's giving them a clean, checked, perfect knife for each slaughtering. And then he's done, gives it to the next one. The next animal comes, he gets a new knife and he's giving, next one, new knife.

Why? Because you can't take a chance and you can't slow down the process with having, oh, oh, this one has a nick problem. Stop the chain, stop the hole, right? They can't, everything, you understand that this is very, very important. Okay.

So that's about the laws of kosher. And in general, everything that we eat and drink needs to have a kosher certification on it. What does that mean? That means that someone took the time and the effort to go down to the manufacturing plant. Can you pass me that please?

That bottle, pass it here. Yeah, yeah, that one, it's kosher, I know it. Of course it's kosher, pass it. I just want to show how, here, this product, and we're not, this is not a paid advertisement, okay? Okay?

So you see this product right here? I'm going to show it to the camera in one second. This product right here, I don't know what this is, Premier Protein, pumpkin spice, okay? Excellent choice. Do you know that this item right here had a rabbi go down to the plant from the OU, I believe it's the OU, I can't even see it, it's so small.

I know, I know exactly where it is, right over here. The OU, he went there, where was it made? It was made in California. It doesn't say where it was made. I believe it was made in California.

So a rabbi went down to that plant, ensured that every single ingredient that is added into this is kosher. And now, it's made, put into the bottle, with the OU signifying that it's been certified to be kosher. It's not blessed by a rabbi, a rabbi's not sitting there, oh, you should be blessed, that's not what a rabbi's doing. But the rabbi is saying, yes, I certify, which is why you have the kosher symbol on it. This is the same as this water bottle.

Here, you can pass this back, please. This water bottle, this, you can enjoy it. This water bottle also has a kosher symbol on it. And the reason for that was, it's water, water is water, it's not water anymore, because you see, this water is sold by Sam's Club, okay, Member's Mark, okay, it's Sam's Club. Now, Member's Mark wants to ensure that all of their water, across the country, is going to have the exact same taste.

So, you know what they do? They take the water, whichever where it's from, it's purified water, whatever they call it, right, purified water. Reverse osmosis. And reverse osmosis, but what they do is, they take out all the flavoring and re-put in the same exact ingredients of flavoring into the water, across the country, so that they can ensure that the bottle that you're getting in Florida, the bottle you're getting in California, and in North Dakota, and in Texas, is all going to be the exact same flavor. Now, what are those ingredients that they put in?

Let me tell you. They put calcium chloride, sodium bicarbonate, okay, and, of course, purified water. Do you know if those ingredients are kosher? I have no idea. Well, the OU verified to ensure that it is.

Okay, you understand? They're doing a great service for us to ensure that we can go almost anywhere on planet Earth. Because you say water, what could be not kosher about water? Well, you see, they have ingredients that they put in there. It's not 100%.

Now, if it's spring water, those are all kosher because that's from a natural source. But that's to answer the question about kosher. Kosher does not mean blessed by a rabbi. Kosher means that the way in which it was produced and brought to your table is all through the proper halachic channels. Okay.

Now, about getting a blessing from a rabbi, okay, what does that mean? So our sages teach us an amazing thing. People always went to holy people for a blessing. We see that in this week's Parsha, we have the tribes, the children of Jacob. We see in two more portions of Parsha's Vayichi, we see that the children of Jacob received a blessing from him right before his passing.

See, Jacob got a blessing from his father, Isaac. Isaac got a blessing from his father, Abraham. And we see this constantly throughout the history where people went to righteous people to receive blessings. What is the power of a blessing? By the way, the Talmud says that the blessing of a simple person, a simpleton, shouldn't be taken lightly.

It's also very powerful. You don't only have to go to the rabbis and to the sages to receive blessings. Even a simple person gives you a blessing. Have a great day. Don't just say, thank you, you too, or throw it back at them, like, without even the thank you.

Amen. Amen. It's a special blessing. Okay. What's going on here?

I want to explain something that my rabbi taught me when I was about 17 years old. He said that every blessing that you bestow upon another person is, imagine you're trying to persuade and lobby someone in the government to do something. It's not going to work by one request. I know my representative is Al Green, unfortunately. I know.

It doesn't work. But if you badger them with many, many, many, many requests, what happens? Hopefully it'll be heard and accepted, especially if you throw money at it and if you give insider trading secrets, then for sure. Just ask Nancy Pelosi. But what happens is like this, is that when you make a request to heaven, God can say, maybe, maybe not.

Well, Hannah, you asked for something, maybe, maybe not. I'll decide whenever. But then when you have a blessing of someone who's very prominent in the eyes of God, someone who is a God-fearing person, someone who's holy, ooh, that carries a lot of weight. That carries a lot of weight that someone who's so prominent that asks such a request. It's very, very powerful.

So that's why people go. But why does the Talmud say, don't let the blessing of a simpleton be light in your eyes? Because that could be the one blessing that flips the coin, that weighs it to the favor of your success. Okay? You understand?

It's very, very powerful. Every blessing is an enormous gift and don't take them ever lightly. I just want to add one more thing. I don't know why I'm remembered of this now, but in Jerusalem, they have a custom that whenever someone gives a blessing, they give back a bigger blessing. Someone says, have a good day, he says, have a good week.

Someone says, have a good week, have a good month. Someone says, have a good month, have a good year. That's the way, that's the way the old minnig of Jerusalem. One time, someone came to Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Arbach and he said, have a good week. And he said back to him, have a good week.

And then later, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Arbach went back to him, ran after him and asked him for forgiveness. He says, please forgive me. Please forgive me. He says, what are you talking about? He says, Rosh Chodesh is in the middle of the week.

He says, he didn't say have a good week. He said, have a good year. That's what it was. He said, have a good week. He says, have a good year.

He realized that Rosh Chodesh was in the middle of the week and he gave them a smaller blessing than he received because the year ends three days in, four days in Rosh Hashanah. He said, I'm so sorry that I gave you a smaller blessing than the blessing that you gave me. You gave me for a full week. I gave you for three days till Rosh Hashanah. He showered him with blessings, tremendous blessings this year and next year, whatever.

But you understand the power of a blessing is so incredible that it should never ever be taken lightly. When someone gives you a blessing, say amen, thank you, and then respond in kind with a greater blessing. We all have the power to open up the channels of heaven and bring unbelievable bounty to others.

Chana S.

There's a thing also, right, that if someone is embarrassed in public, right, you should get a blessing from that person immediately if they don't respond.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Is that correct?

Let me explain this. Let me explain this. It's correct, but incorrect. Let's divide them, okay? The Talmud says that someone who's embarrassed publicly and does not respond, the eno meishiv, is forgiven of all of their sins, okay?

So if someone is embarrassed publicly and they don't respond, they're forgiven of all their sins. So you go to synagogue and someone starts hooting and hollering, it's a good Texas word, right? At you. And they start yelling, what's wrong with you? Should be ashamed of yourself, and they're screaming and yelling.

I actually, I was once, I once got a phone call from someone in one of the big synagogues in our community, and he says to me, he called me to his office, and he was so broken. Someone who had borrowed money from him, a lot of money, came to him in the middle of the synagogue in front of everybody and started yelling and screaming at him for even thinking of asking for his money back. He said, this guy stole so much money from me, and here he's yelling at me. So I said to him, I said to him, did you answer him? He says, no, I was so humiliated and embarrassed in front of the whole congregation, this guy's yelling at me.

I said, do you know you just got yourself a portion of the world to come? Because you were just forgiven of all your sins. You were forgiven of all your sins for free, like that, just by not answering. So our sages, many times when someone would come like that to a sage, the sages would immediately say, put your hands on my head and bless me. What do you mean, bless me?

Because someone who's without sin is the purest and holiest. That's the connection there. The connection is, is that when someone is embarrassed in public, it's not that they're supposed to give blessings, or you're supposed to get a blessing. The idea is that because they're forgiven of all their sins, they're the purest and holiest among us. Who else is better to get a blessing from than someone like that?

That's why brides give out blessings before their chuppah correct, and their groom as well because they're forgiven of all their sins, the day of their wedding, they're forgiven of all their sins. That's a very auspicious time to receive a blessing from a bride. What is she going out? Is she giving blessings to everybody like she's, yeah, she is, because she's forgiven of all her sins, right? That's why they fast on that day, the day of their wedding, the bride and groom fast.

They fast because it's Yom Kippur. It's just like Yom Kippur is a day of atonement. The day of their wedding is also a day of atonement. By the way, also someone who takes public office is also forgiven of their sins. Because anyone who undertakes the responsibility of the public is forgiven of their sins.

A woman and a man who get married are now becoming public. They're no longer individual, you know, independent people. Now they're becoming responsible for others. When you become responsible for others, God says, I'm going to give you a freebie. Remove all your sins from what you've done previously.

Now you've entered a new realm and you're forgiven of all your previous sins. Very, very powerful. Excellent question, Chana. Any other questions?

Chana S.

Kirish Levana, we're not supposed to look upon the face of the moon.

Is that correct?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

No.

Chana S.

We heard one time that to look upon the face of the moon is to look upon the face of God.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Okay, one second, one second, one second. If someone is thinking that the sun or the moon are God's, that's a problem.

And which is why the halacha says differently. The halacha says that when someone recites the blessing, they shouldn't look at the moon. Because you shouldn't be praying to the moon. So what do you do? You look at the moon first.

You see it. Ah. Now face towards Jerusalem and recite the blessing. You don't face towards the moon. You don't pray towards the moon.

Okay? So it's not that you can't look at it, but we don't treat the moon as like a God. You look at it, you see that it's there. Now face towards Jerusalem and recite your blessing. And you don't look up until you're done.

So it shouldn't even seem as if we are praying to the moon. It's an excellent question. I like that.

Chana S.

The bedtime shema. Should we be standing?

Because I've heard people that are saying it in their bed. So should we be standing for that?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

It's customary that people sit when they're reciting that shema. There's no need to... Shema can always be recited sitting.

In fact, in the morning prayer, it's called tefillu demiyush of the sitting amida. Okay? Amida is standing. But it's the sitting form of the amida, of the shpon esrei, that we're reciting during the shema. So it's perfectly fine for one to recite the shema, the bedtime shema, when they're sitting.

You can be laying down as well. It says, when you lie down and when you arise. So then it's definitely appropriate for one, it's definitely appropriate for one to recite the shema. Now you're doing it correctly. Don't worry about it.

All right.

Ana S.

Let's say, like, the person keep kosher, like the food is kosher, separated meat and dairy, dishwasher, everything, the whole kitchen. But if that person doesn't keep Shabbos, is it still kosher?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

So it's a very, very important question. So the halachah is like this.

It's very delicate. We have to understand this. If someone doesn't observe the Shabbat, so then their relationship with God and the Torah is limited. So if it's limited in this area, is it likely that it's limited in other areas? Most likely.

But if someone is all in with Shabbat, it's an assumption that they're all in in other areas because Shabbat is such an essential part of our connection with God, that if that's where we're solid, we're solid in other areas as well. So there is an assumption that if someone is observant of Shabbat, that everything else, including their kosher, is up to par. If someone is limited in their observance of Shabbat. Now, it gets difficult when someone is in the process of growth. I remember I had a student who was in the beginning stages of her growth.

Today, she's completely Shomer Shabbat, she's completely Shomer kosher, everything. But at that time, she's like invited me to her house to eat, my wife and I, and it was very uncomfortable because I really wasn't able to eat in her house yet. And she said, I don't understand. I'm keeping kosher because of you, and now you're telling me I'm not kosher enough? I didn't say that, obviously.

I didn't ever say that she wasn't kosher enough. But again, she wasn't yet observant of Shabbat. So it's a very delicate transition period where, you know, it's not yet reliable for me to eat in her kitchen. But she's not doing anything wrong. But once she was completely Shomer Shabbat and completely observant of Shabbat, I had no problem eating in her kitchen.

And I did many times after that. But you understand, it's a very delicate space to be in. So during that transition period, it's definitely not easy. Transitions are never easy.

Ana S.

The thing is, like, somebody invited me, and she keeps kosher, but she doesn't keep Shabbat.

Right, right.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

I don't want to eat there. Right. So it's, again, it's... So I don't know if I...

It's a big... It's a bad decision. It's a... Ask your... Ask your rabbi.

You're sponsoring rabbis. It's an excellent question to ask them. Is it...

Ana S.

I didn't eat.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Well, OK.

It's... Right. You probably did the right thing, but you have to be very smart in how you do that so that you don't offend them. Because this is a big, big challenge that people who become Shomer Shabbos and keep kosher, they go back to visit their parents, and they say, I'm sorry, Mom, I can't eat in your kitchen. What do you mean you can't eat in my kitchen?

What do you mean it's not kosher? So it's very, very sensitive, very, very delicate, and how to deal with that, and not to hurt your mother, because you have a mitzvah to honor your father and mother. It's a... Of the Big Ten, right? The Ten Commandments.

Right? Honor your father and mother. It's a pretty big one up there. So how do you deal with that sensitivity when the son has now become Shomer Shabbos and keeps kosher and all of that, and he comes to visit his parents? So I know many, many parents who are unbelievable that even though they don't keep kosher, but they have special dishes for their children when they come back to visit.

They have special dishes. And they have... They kosher their kitchen for their child. They have a rabbi come in and kosher the kitchen. And they don't take it as an insult.

They're like, he's at a different level that we're not at yet. And they understand it's not because we're less Jewish than them. It's not because we're less than them. They're at a different state of their spiritual connection with Hashem, and respecting that and honoring that. So but again, it takes all...

It's very sensitive. It's very delicate. And you know, we can talk about this more. It's a very, very important topic to discuss. I do have to run.

So we have time for one more question, Mark? That was an awesome podcast class. Thank you. Happy Hanukkah, everybody. Happy Hanukkah.

Marc S.

Thank you. So let's say you're new in prayer, and you're a visual person. So you need something to... I don't know what to pray for, or I don't know how. How do I pray?

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

And you're a visual person. You're just a regular guy like me. What image should you place in front of yourself? Not necessarily an image, but what can I... If I got to pray to something, and you're like, I don't know, you're kind of confused if you're looking everywhere.

Like a prayer in a circle or something like this, what would be your advice to somebody who's new to prayer? It's an excellent question. The Rambam actually says something very interesting. When the Rambam talks about the laws of idolatry, he says, where did idolatry come from? It came from this mistaken image that people had that I can't fathom God.

So I have to have something tangible that I can place God on. So like, oh, God created the sun and the moon. That's a perfect representative of God, because that's what God created, and that's a way for me to imagine God. So they started serving the sun and the moon. And then it started descending more and more until they idolatized mankind, because that's a representative of God in the image of God.

So it has to be, this is a perfect image. And then they became idols themselves, because they're like, you know, I'm a representative of God. So you should, right? And that's, Rambam shows the entire transition of how idolatry began. It wasn't because we're trying to rebel against God.

It's because we're trying to make God tangible. And it's very dangerous. It's very, very, very dangerous. We don't make God into our mug in David, and we don't make God into our, into an image, right? In fact, the halacha says you're not allowed to dove in, you're not allowed to pray in front of an image, any image.

You have a big picture of your family, family photo, you're not allowed to pray in front of that, because you shouldn't be praying towards an image. Behind you is fine. But when you're praying towards something, you have to be very careful. There shouldn't be, not be an image on the wall. So what, so what should we be praying towards?

So I sort of imagine the following, okay? It says that when someone wears tzitzis, the tzitzis, now we today don't have the exact blue, you can ask my brother, he says we do have the exact blue of the tzitzis, we can dispute that elsewhere. But the tzitzis are supposed to be blue, they're supposed to remind you of the sea, which is blue, which is supposed to remind you of the heavens, which will remind you of God's holy throne up in heaven. So I think that that's a perfect image for us to have for prayer. A clarifying point, me alone under the sky with God in my own little area where nobody sees me, guy visualizing, you know, God's throne, which is sort of anthropomorphizing again, but just kind of me alone under the heavens with the Creator, and being grateful and in praying that the prescribed prayers that we have in our prayer books.

Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

Does that sound like an accurate sort of level one? I think it's a very advanced level, not only level one, I think that every person should feel like they're talking directly to God. God is standing right in front of us and listening to our prayers. I've given this description previously of imagine you're about to make that announcement that you're running for president, mark for president, okay? You have the signs all over, mark for president, the American flag behind you, and now you have like these hundreds of microphones, CNN and ABC and all of the different news outlets, and you're about to walk up to that podium, Hashem, that's the beginning of the Amidah.

We say, Hashem, open my lips so I can sing your praise. That's you praying, God is listening with all intent, with all focus, with all the cameras, with all the pomp and circumstances, God is waiting for your prayer. He's saying, oh, my son Mark is about to pray, I'm getting the cameras ready, getting the microphones ready, and we're about to hear the greatest prayer ever. And then you open up your sweet words in song of Hashem. That's exactly what prayer needs to be.

My dear friends, thank you for your awesome questions. Have an amazing week, everybody.

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