Everyday Judaism · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:13 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Ask Away series on the Everyday Judaism podcast. To have your questions answered on future episodes, please email askaway at torchweborg. Now ask away.

00:22 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Good afternoon everybody. Welcome back to another segment of the Ask Away series, Ask Away number 19. Welcome back, it's so wonderful to be here. This is a special series that we have so we can answer any question that comes up, again with the understanding that if I don't know the answer, you will have to suffice with the answer I don't know. So to begin pass the microphone, welcome everybody. Beautiful Sunday morning. Okay, go for it.

00:57 - Anna S. (Host)
Okay, on Yom Kippur forgiveness is automatic. I mean, obviously we have to ask for it, but does that mean Hashem hesitates at other times during the year, or doesn't he crave a relationship with us so intensely that he's pleased when we come to Him anytime?

01:18 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Okay. So that's an incredible question. Yes, hashem loves when we come to him at any time. However, this is a time of greater will of Hashem. Hashem desires it now. So it's like imagine you tell your associates that we're doing a special. Anybody who sells this product, you're gonna get a bonus right. Once the bonus is done, it's going to be hard to convince your boss. He's going to be very grateful, he'll reward you for it, but you're not going to get the bonus package you know for that. So, meaning, this is a special time it's called Yimei Arotza when Hashem desires it. Hashem desires that closeness and therefore it's appropriate for us to take this opportunity of Yom Kippur, where Hashem says you come and you ask I'll grant it.

02:14
Now, part of that process is really getting ourselves to a point where we feel that we've done our job in attaining that atonement with our repentance. So this is part of a process we take from the beginning of Elul 30 days till Rosh Hashanah, then another 10 days till Yom Kippur 40 days to transform who we are. Where we come to Hashem, we tell Him all the good reasons why he should accept our forgiveness, why he should accept our repentance, because we're saying you know what Hashem? I made mistakes. I'm owning up to them. I'm asking for forgiveness. I'm changing my ways in the following steps. This is what I'm doing to change my ways and therefore I hope that you will forgive me.

03:01
And by Yom HaHashem, hashem says that forever, when we come and ask for it, we will receive that atonement. But during the year, of course, a person can have atonement, but this is the time, this is the season you don't want to make. Do you go to the store after the sale or do you go during the sale? Right, you go during the sale. This is the sale season where Hashem says you know, fall fashion is here and it's called repentance. And now this is where we come and we ask for forgiveness.

03:30 - Anna S. (Host)
I get it. He's in the field, he's among us and super powerful. But for whatever reason, if somebody sits out during the season right during the sale, they shouldn't be dissuaded from approaching him.

03:45 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
That's correct, and I've had a number of times where I've invited people to join me for a shashana yom kippur and they're like Rabbi, I'm just going to sit this one out. I've had, actually I've had students who were at my sukkahs table, and what I try to do typically every year sukkahs is talk about what our vision is for the coming year, what we want to accomplish and what we want to achieve. And I remember that we had a few college students from UT, university of Texas, austin, and they said that their biggest concern for the coming year is that the following Yom Kippur was going to be on Shabbos, and we know that UT football is on Shabbos and they didn't know what they would do. Would they do Yom Kippur or would they do the football? And that was a big concern for them, right? So it is something for a person to really set out a plan for the year ahead, not to sit it out, not to sit it out.

04:43
You don't want to sit out an opportunity, just like you wouldn't sit out the sale for that dress that you've been eyeing for such a long time. Now it's finally 85% off and you're so excited you wouldn't let it just sit there on the rack, you would go and make sure you're there early for it. Just look at the iPhone lines. When the new iPhone comes out, there's lines around the block because everybody wants to get their hand on their newest iPhone. Here we have something which is so much greater than that iPhone. We have the opportunity. We should be lined around the block getting ready for our Yom Kippur. So that's a great question. Now again, it's always a time to do Teshuvah, don't get. It's always yeah, but it's always a time to buy the iPhone. You can buy it next week too, yeah, but I want it now, right, when it's fresh, right when it's hot, all right, that's when I want it. Well, the same thing is with teshuva. Not the same.

05:32 - Anna S. (Host)
Even greater is teshuva, not really a question the wealthy man in the mikvah. There were three things regret something and then- Acceptance for the future.

05:41 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Acceptance, it means part of the teshuvah process. There's this three-step process of teshuvah. There's the process. The number one is you can't stay with the sin. You can't continue sinning, right, so you gotta leave the sin. You have to have regret, right? So leaving the sin, regret, which is accepting for the future I'm not gonna do it again and then actually repenting, Vidui confession, Confessing that sin, Alright. So very good question. The three-step process of Teshuvah is very, very important. Okay, Anna.

06:17 - David Z. (Host)
Before we start a new month, normally we pray the previous Shabbos for the new month.

06:23 - Anna S. (Host)
For this month, why we don't have for the next?

06:26 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
month. Okay, very good question. So we have something called Shabbos Mevorchim. We have a special blessing for the new month. What do we do? This is, we do the Shabbos prior to Rosh Chodesh. So if Rosh Chodesh is anywhere from Sunday through the following Shabbos, the Shabbos before will be Shabbos Mevorchim. In synagogue we declare we want blessing for this month, we want success for this month, we want livelihood, we want good health, we want all of these incredible blessings that we say the Shabbos before Rosh Chodesh, rosh Hashanah. We don't do that, for why? Because Rosh Hashanah doesn't need our blessings. It has God's blessings. Rosh Hashanah is a time where we're in a different, a whole different sphere of Hashem's blessings. And because we are in such a place of closeness with Hashem we don't even need to make those requests. It's all embedded in the blessing that Hashem brings upon us on Rosh Hashanah. So on Rosh Hashanah, we pray for everything. We ask for absolute closeness with Hashem. What's better than a good livelihood? Closeness with Hashem. What's better than good health? Closeness with Hashem. What's better than a husband meeting his wife and a wife meeting her husband and having children and all the other blessings? A closeness with Hashem. All of those are vehicles for that ultimate closeness with Hashem, which is what we want and what we desire. Rosh Hashanah, we get that blessing, we get the closeness with Hashem and that's why Rosh Hashanah is the only month of the year that we do not bless the new month in advance, because Hashem's got it covered for us. Okay, good question. Any other question? Okay, so very interesting Good question.

08:13
Rosh Hashanah is a two-day holiday across the globe. All festivals in Israel is one day Outside of Israel, two days. Okay, israel one day Outside of in the diaspora, two days. Rosh Hashanah is a two-day holiday everywhere in the world. Okay, in Jerusalem, in Tel Aviv, in Haifa, in Eilat In Israel, it's two days. In Germany it's two days. In New York it's two days. And in Texas it's two days. In Mexico it's two days. Everywhere around the world it's a two-day holiday.

08:51
So because it's a two-day holiday, each one of those days is part of the Shehechiano blessing that we recite each of those days. But on a regular festival like Sukkot and Pesach and Shavuot which in the diaspora is a questionable which day is the correct day? So we only recite Shehechiano on the first day because we're assuming the first day is the correct day, which today we know which day is the correct day. So we only recite Shehecheyonu on the first day because we're assuming the first day is the correct day, which today. We know which day is the correct day. But once the custom was instituted as part of our observance, we don't ever remove that custom. So therefore, forever in the diaspora we will always have a two-day festival of Sukkot, the two-day festival of Shemini, atzeret, simchat Torah, a two-day festival of Pesach and the Akhron Shav, pesach and Shavuot. Outside of Israel, we'll always observe it as two days.

09:47
In Israel, those festivals are one day and only one, she'a Chiriano is recited for that reason, because that's the day that we are certain 100% this is the holiday, and again, we observe it as two full days of holiday, with no leniencies. For the second day it's like well, it's just second day, it's fine. No, just like the first day. Okay, but because it's really a one-day holiday, it should be a a one day holiday. In Israel we only recite Shehechiyanu one of those days. Now, if you have something special to recite Shehechiyanu for on the second day, you can do that. But it's not an obligation to recite Shehechiyanu, but you can. You can on the second day, on Rosh Hashanah. Yes, both days. So if you have a new garment, you recite She'achiyanu. If you have a new fruit, you recite She'achiyanu. If there's a reason to recite the She'achiyanu for the second day, then it is always a good thing to say She'achiyanu. Thanking Hashem for giving us life, for giving us this opportunity to be where we are at this moment, is a very, very special and an emotional blessing. It's a very special blessing. Thank you that you give me life for this that I have right now. Very special thing. All right, great questions. Another question Go for it.

11:05
Shabbos 2. A husband. The halacha says a husband should prepare the candles for his wife. A husband should prepare the candles for his wife. Now I have many children, baruch Hashem, and part of my educating my children to prepare candles is that even now, as children, I tell them to prepare the candles for their mother. Part of the mitzvah, by the way, the halacha is not only to prepare them and to make sure they're all ready, but to also light them, so that when the wife lights them, or my wife lights them, it's easier. Once they're pre-lit, they light much quicker, right, right in the beginning sometimes it's hard, you have to fiddle with the wick, but once it's already lit. So my children I teach them to light it, put it out, extinguish it and then when my wife comes to light it, it's very easy, very quick for her to light it and they do it. Typically I like to prepare the Shabbos candles already Saturday night for the next Shabbos. I'm ready for next Shabbos.

12:03
It's a good custom for a man to prepare the candles for his wife. My grandfather of blessed memory that was something he did not let anybody help him with. It was his mitzvah to prepare the candles for my grandmother. He didn't let anybody do it, maybe when he had younger children, when my father was growing up. Maybe I'll have to ask my father when he was young if my grandfather let him or asked him to prepare it for my grandmother. But it's a mitzvah on the husband to prepare the candles for his wife.

12:32
Not only candles, there's other things that is a mitzvah for a husband to do before Shabbos. It says that Gemara says that there were many of the sages. They would sweep their houses. They would get rid of all the spider webs. It's a mitzvah before Shabbos to prepare the house. It should be. The Shabbos queen is coming.

12:48
You clean up. You make sure you have a thorough cleaning of the entire premises, of the entire confines of your home should be diligently cleaned to ensure that Shabbos is peaceful and you're not going to be. Oh, I can't believe I missed that spot. I can't believe I didn't clean here. Make sure everything is done before Shabbos in the most beautiful way.

13:09
Unmarried women have to get married. Unmarried women have to get married. So that's a good question and hopefully Hashem blesses that. All women who need a husband should find a nice, beautiful Jewish man to marry and build a beautiful Jewish home together. But there is a mitzvah to be married and it's part of the specialty of marriage is that you can build so much together with another person that you can who's very, very different, and you learn to build a whole new world together. There's nothing more special than that. Yes, so a woman who's not married unfortunately doesn't have a husband to prepare the candles for her. So it's another motivation. Let's go, let's make it happen, god willing, this year, this year, all right.

13:59
Next question yes, the question is if someone did not recite Havdalah Saturday night till, when can they recite Havdalah? The halacha says that the Shabbos influence sticks around for three days Sunday, monday, tuesday but Tuesday night already, by sunset is already wednesday. So before tuesday night, before nightfall is the latest time for one to recite havdol. If they didn't do so yet, no, monday night, if you're doing it at night, but you could do it, you can do it on, uh, tuesday day. If you haven't done it, you do do it Tuesday day. Yeah, and you need to. It's very interesting that there's a very, very, very holy Hasidic Rebbe who actually recites Avdolah every Tuesday for Shabbos. He keeps Shabbos all the way till Tuesday. He doesn't want to let go of Shabbos till the last possible moment, right? So it's a special thing. I'm not at that level, I don't know anybody else who's at that level, but he is clearly, and it's a special thing for him to do, to observe Shabbos all the way, as long as you can. It's a very, very, very special thing.

15:07 - Ron B. (Host)
Played pickleball Some very good players in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s I'm by far the oldest, and even the best players make errors, make mistakes. What's the Jewish interpretation of the fact that nobody is perfect?

15:29 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Oh, okay. So firstly, we have to know the Torah tells us Ein Odom HaShayase Tov Le'echta Tzaddik, Ein Bar Tzaddik, there's no human being who doesn't make mistakes. Moses sinned, right? We all sin. We all make mistakes, that's fine. The question is not whether we sin. The question is whether or not we get up afterwards, right. So, yes, even in sports which is a good lesson for sports, right?

15:54
If you shoot the basketball 20 times and you miss, you just drop everything and say, okay, I'm done, I'm done with basketball. Or do you pick up the ball and continue practicing and get up again and get up again? You know there's something in baseball called a slump. Anyone familiar with baseball? There's a slump. There are times when the hitter is hitting every ball right field, left field, home run, base hit, double, triple right, Great. And sometimes they get into a slump and they just strike out and they hit. It's like nothing goes right. That's fine.

16:24
Every human being has ups and downs. Every human being has ups and downs, and one of the important things to learn from sports, I think, is never give up. Never give up. Yeah, you may not be as good as Michael Jordan. You may not be as good as Michael Phelps. You may not be as good as any of the great Mickey Mantle or Babe Ruth, but don't give up. Don't give up. What you see so beautifully from athletes and from people who've made great accomplishments in life is if you talk to them, you see how many times they were almost at that breaking point and they said I'm giving up. And they didn't. And we have to always. Yeah, you know what. We're all going to make mistakes. It's inevitable. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to fail at times, but that's part for the course, right? You're going to succeed sometimes and we're going to fail sometimes, and that's part of it, and that's the beauty. That's the beauty of it. All right, go Next question.

17:26 - Ron B. (Host)
I'd like your opinion, reconciliation about it From several sources, several surveys. As I mentioned, I think, last time, 75%, 80% of Orthodox Jews tend to vote Republican, whereas if you look in the entire Jewish population, entire Jewish segment, 60% of the entire Jewish population votes Democrat. Can you explain the relevancy of why Orthodoxy is apart from the over?

18:07 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Sure, okay. So great question, great question. Typically, we don't get involved in politics here, but before we even talk— no, it's fine, it's fine. But even before we talk about politics, I think it's important for us to clarify. Number one is that I don't believe in Orthodox Reform, conservative and Reconstructionist. I don't buy into those labels. I believe there are two types of Jews. There are growing Jews and stagnant Jews. And in every one of those categories that you mentioned Orthodox, reform, conservative, reconstructionist there are growing Jews, and in every one of those categories there are stagnant Jews. Okay, so we hear a torch. Encourage every single person to be a growing person. Come, let's learn, come, let's grow. Come, let's change, let's enhance, let's grow. Sadly, there are people who are stagnant in every spectrum. Every single one of those Now.

19:03
Okay, so now you're talking about the Torah observant community, why there are so many people who are voting for Republican versus Democrat. So I need to explain something. First is what does the Torah tell us about things? Okay, so, for example, if you want to get into the topic of abortion, you want to get into the topic of all of these different things, the Torah aligns more today. Today, this is not maybe what it was 100 years ago or 50 years ago. Today, the Torah aligns more with what the Republican Party stands for, which is why not 70% or 80%, close to 98% or maybe 99% of Torah observant Jews are Republican. They vote Republican. Okay, now what are the other?

19:46
Quote what you called movements, reform and conservative. Their vast majority 60, maybe 70, 75% vote Democrat. Why is that Many of them? It's because that's what they did in the Alte Heim. That's what their parents did. I had a young person told me. He says if my mother knew that I voted Republican, she would disown me. She would totally disown me. Because in our home, now, why did people traditionally vote Democrat? Because they were convinced that the Democrat party is the one who allowed them to come into the United States as immigrants. My grandparents came as immigrants from Czechoslovakia, from Hungary, from Poland. They came after the war, after they were in Auschwitz and they were liberated. They came to the United States and they had the opportunity and they're very grateful for those who they attribute their survival to whether it's Democrats or Republicans, I don't know, but they were told that it was the Democrats, so they had to vote Democrat. We had to show our appreciation and our gratitude.

20:51
But today, when we're talking about significant value shifts in culture, the question is does our Judaism align with it? And then you get into the question of whether or not it's important to us or to whoever those voters are their Judaism more than it is their American culture. What takes precedence, my Jewishness or my Americanism? And we're Jewish first and American second. We have an amazing gratitude for the country that we are citizens in, the country that we live in, the country that we pay our taxes to, but that we're Jewish first. We're committed to the Almighty God, creator of heaven and earth, number one. Second, we are members of a society and we have to contribute to society. And I believe that the Jewish community has contributed probably more than any other demographic on planet earth to society. And in all of the countries that we've been in, we've always stood out as being the major contributors to the culture that we were in. Notwithstanding that, we have to decide whether or not we have Torah as our mainstay or American life as our mainstay.

22:10
Sadly for many Jews who vote Democrat, they don't consider Torah to be their primary. They consider the Torah to be their secondary. So therefore, their first and primary religion becomes what they vote for and that becomes their religion, overtakes their religion, and that's very, very problematic, very concerning that there are many, many Jews who, to them, number one is we're Democrat, number two, we're Jewish, and that's a very, very concerning thing because we're our morals. By the way, our entire culture, the morals, the Judeo-Christian values, comes from the Torah. It comes from the Torah, so we can't now say, oh, remove the Torah, we have nothing to do with it. Even you find today, whether it's J Street or all of these other liberal groups that are not supportive of Israel, are not supportive. Free Palestine is their banner.

23:08
The Jews are an occupied land. We're the occupiers. Since when are we occupiers? Oh, if you get rid of the Torah, then we're occupiers. But if you look at the Torah, the Torah says Hashem created the world, hashem gave us the land. But if I don't associate with the Torah, then I look at it from a very secularist perspective of we're occupiers and we should get out of the land, go live someplace else.

23:30
Jews are saying that it's Jews who are ignorant to our Torah, jews who don't know exactly from creation and many, by the way, who consider themselves rabbis, who don't even believe in God. In some of these categories that you mentioned right. So we have to. It's a much deeper and longer conversation, but I think that if we understand that the principles of our Judaism have to be Torah first and then, that doesn't mean, by the way, that we're allowed to break laws, because the Torah tells us to right. The Torah says as well dina, the malchusa dina, the laws of the land are the laws of the land. You have to obey them. Just because you have Shabbos doesn't mean.

24:14
I remember once I got a ride. I got a ride from Brooklyn to upstate, new York, to my house, and the guy was supposed to pick me. It was an early Shabbos, like at 4.30 in New York. So the guy was driving from Brooklyn, which is New York City, all the way to upstate. There's going to be traffic, there's going to be tolls, it's a long drive and the guy was supposed to pick me up at 1 o'clock and then he called me and said I'm going to pick you up at 1.30 and then 2 o'clock and finally he came to pick me up. It was very, very late. I was like worried we're not even going to make it on time and the guy is driving like a crazy person. A cop pulled him over and he says Shabbat, shabbat. It's almost Shabbos, I have to run.

24:52
That doesn't give you a right to break the law because you have Shabbat. You left late so you stayede the laws of the Torah, but the laws of the Torah shouldn't either supersede the laws of the land. In the sense that and, by the way, the gratitude and the appreciation that we need to have for being in the United States of America, the only land that has not persecuted the Jewish people for their observance, has not persecuted the Jewish people for their observance. The British murdered the Jews, the French murdered the Jews, the Spanish murdered the Jews, the Greek murdered the Jews. You look at all of the nations. The Russians murdered the Jews. Every nation on planet Earth had their chance of killing Jews.

25:42
The United States is the only one that keeps on blessing the Jews and my belief, it's the reason why the United States is so blessed, because the Torah promises those who bless you will be blessed, those who curse you will be cursed. And the United States endlessly continues to support Israel. Much to the chagrin of the British, much to the chagrin of the French, much to the chagrin of the French and the other nations, the United States stands firm in its support of its ally, israel, and I think that it is the reason for the blessing in the United States. It is the reason why the United States is the strongest country in the world, the strongest military in the world, the strongest economy in the world, because they continue to bless themselves by blessing the Jewish people. So I hope that answered your question, ron. It was a very long answer.

26:33 - Ron B. (Host)
Some of the mundane responses to what you're saying. Some women say, well, we want to sit with our husbands during services, so we want to go to a reformed synagogue. Some people say, we don't want to sit all the way up in the balcony when our husbands are down here with everybody else. Some people say, well, we want to drive on Saturday to send our kids to dance class Right, these are some of the responses to what you're saying.

27:09 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
We can address those questions. That has nothing to do with a political question. It's a different question of religious observance and one's desire to fulfill them to their liking. There's no police force in Judaism that says oh, you desecrated the Shabbos, let's throw you off a building. No, such, no such. The Torah gives its clear guidelines of what is prohibited and what is permitted on Shabbat and what the punishments are for one who observes or doesn't observe them. That's for the Torah to deal with and for a Jewish court to deal with. But the question, the egalitarian question, is an easier question. It's a very pragmatic thing. There's no sin in the Torah for a husband and a wife to sit next to each other in synagogue. That's not a biblical prohibition, it's just a practical. Issue is that women want to be able to concentrate in their prayers and men want to concentrate in their prayers. It's very nice for a loving couple to hold hands when they're praying, but they can do that at the poolside, they can do that at home, they can do that when they're walking in the street, they can do that wherever they are.

28:18
Praying is a time where we're, as individuals, talking to the Almighty and we want to do that in the best way possible, which is why the halacha says, for example, that a person should not pray when they're in the middle of a court case. Why? Because your mind is going to be too disturbed, too harried about the case and the ongoing. So you're running out. You're in the middle of the case, there's a little break, recess for 20 minutes so everyone can pray minuchah. You run outside, you're like your brain is all over the place, you're all frazzled, You're not able to focus. Allah says don't pray without the proper focus and concentration, because you're talking to God. You have to talk to God in a way that's appropriate. Ask any man would they prefer looking at the women or praying? Everybody would prefer looking at the women, 100% of men. That's why we keep them separate, okay, so that we can focus. When we know that we don't have that distraction, we will be able to focus better, and the idea is synagogue is the one place that we devote completely to our prayer and our communication with God. As soon as we're out, mix them up together. That's fine. Everybody can use their own judgment regarding that. Regarding prayer specifically, I'm talking to God. It's not a communal thing. We do it together so that it's more impactful in front of the Almighty. But my prayer here is I want to be able to focus, which is why Halacha says you should be close to a wall as possible so you have less distraction. If you have people on both sides walking by back and forth, you can't focus. Prayer needs to be. The whole idea of prayer is. Focus is I'm completely removed from all distractions. It's very nice that you're there.

29:58
I'll tell you, I had a student who was growing in his Judaism and he said to me Rabbi, I want to go become a member of a synagogue. Now I'm learning and I'm growing. I said great, so go tour around. They gave him an option of a bunch of synagogues. I'm not a rabbi in any synagogues. I have no reason for him to come to my synagogue. But I want him to make his own educated decision. He went with his wife and they're looking for the again, for the again.

30:27
This is a guy who's never been in a synagogue before and he goes and he comes back to my house Shabbos afternoon and he says to me Rabbi, don't ever send me to that congregation again. I said what are you talking about? He says what's going on? The men and the women they're holding hands. He says the guy in front of me grabbing his wife in an inappropriate way, and he says I'm fine with that, but not in synagogue. I don't want to be in synagogue talking to God and have to be able to have to see that right in front of me. Right he just? It's great for there to be love between a husband and a wife, but we all know that the realistic distractions of genders and synagogue is definitely not the place for it. In general, just so that we, while we're already talking about this, we have to give a disclaimer.

31:10
The Torah says for men and women to, in general, keep distance from one another. Why, unless you're married to that woman, you shouldn't have extracurricular activities with other women. To that woman you shouldn't have extracurricular activities with other women. There shouldn't be special time in the office with your assistant, with your secretary, because just look at the last governors of the state of New York and their disgrace of having an affair with their assistant.

31:42
It really is why the Torah tells us this is the reality, the nature of man and woman. You're not trusted. You're never trusted. Therefore, you have to set certain boundaries and you have to set certain barriers so that a man and a woman keep a distance and they do not interact unnecessarily with one another. Okay, so I hope that, ron. I hope I answered your question. Okay Again, it's not because we're chauvinist, it's not because it's just the opposite. We do respect women so much more, and women are on a pedestal in Judaism, and we can talk about that even more in future episodes. Okay, we're going to end with one or two more questions. Go for it, david.

32:21 - David Z. (Host)
So somewhat on that topic, but with gay okay. So, and I understand we're in 2025, very different than 100 years ago. But I was a little bit shocked at Rosh Hashanah luncheon when and you might be aware of who they are, I won't mention who they are the new young rabbi showed up and my mother mentioned that, the gentleman with him he was married to, and I was like I'm okay with yeah, I have no problem with it, I'm okay with jewish people being gay, but a rabbi. It shocked me. And how do you feel that hashem feels about someone as a rabbi explaining Judaism, being gay and acting in that?

33:10 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Okay. So it's a very delicate topic, because it's a very delicate topic. So let me tell you like this I don't have any comment on it. I cannot comment on it. But I will tell you the Torah very rarely uses the term it's an abomination. The only time it's used is regarding homosexuality. Homosexuality, in the eyes of Hashem in His Torah, is an abomination. That's the answer, according to what the Torah says.

33:43
People have come to me. I've had people come to my house. I've had people come here to the Torch Center with their gay partner men and women all right, lesbian and gay come and say we want to know if we will be welcomed here. I said anybody who wants to come and learn about Judaism is welcome here. It's one of the topics we generally do not address in our classes because we don't need to get there. It's one of the topics we generally do not address in our classes because we don't need to get there. It's not our topic. If someone wants to talk to me privately, I can meet with them privately. It's not a public conversation. But I said to them just like a heterosexual couple, I don't want them hugging and kissing in class because that would be an interruption to other people's focus and whatever.

34:22
I don't feel that it's important for anybody's sexuality to be discussed in class or in public here, in this setting, in my home as well. You want to come. You're welcome to come. Everyone is welcome. Everyone is welcome. No one has ever been turned away. But let's leave our politics. Let's leave our romance outside of the house. Inside the house, let's just enjoy being part of a community. Let's enjoy the food together and let's not announce who we spend our private intimacy with.

34:53
It's not for public conversation. It's not a modest thing to do, just like any normal married couple doesn't share with their friends what it is they do privately. I don't think that a gay couple should share that either. I think it's even more that they title their whole thing as pride. It's like putting it in your face. I don't walk around with my wife and share. Look at what we do privately. No, leave your privacy in your private world, right, and that's to me it's like it doesn't need to be mentioned. Why should it be mentioned? Why do I stand up in synagogue? And if I were to give a sermon in a synagogue again, I'm not a rabbi of a synagogue, but would I stand up and say I'm very proudly married to a woman. No, it's not the way you present yourself. It's like it's just not it's nobody's business what happens in your private life, right, and I don't think that it's appropriate for it to even be a topic that the rabbi mentions as his thing.

35:53
Now a rabbi has to do his own introspection whether or not it's appropriate for him to be leading a congregation while he's disobeying a very clear command in the Torah. He's disobeying a very clear command in the Torah where the Torah explicitly says it's an abomination. That's not my place to judge, it's not my place to decide, but it's the congregations to decide whether or not they want to have a leader that is living in such a way. That's the congregation's decision. It's not something that I can. I hope I answered gave some clarity to your question. Ok, follow-up question.

36:24 - Anna S. (Host)
With the political thing you mentioned, that the Torah says that we must observe the laws of the land. But during times of genocide and pogroms and inquisition like this, we choose life above the law of the land.

36:40 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
So we leave. If you realize something very interesting in Jewish history Jews always lived next to water, always lived next to water. When they lived in Iraq, they were next to the Babylonian Sea, right Next to the River of Babylon. Right, they lived right there. Always, the Jewish people lived next to water. Why? And Jews generally did not own real estate. They were jewelers, they were merchants that were able to carry their possessions with them. Why? Because they knew today I'm here. Yeah, you know that Jews who lived in Poland would call it Poland, this is our land. They were so comfortable in Poland.

37:19
How many Jews are there in Poland today? 50? 100? How many? How many Jews live there? We were eviscerated. How many Jews lived in Germany 100 years ago? And how many live there today? They're gone. So Jews learn the hard way. They have to be next to water and they have to have a way of being able to evacuate. Overnight you get on your boat and out, goodbye, go to the next land, and that's the way the Jewish people live. That's why so many Jews live in New York. It's right next to the water. That's why so many Jews live in Texas, right next to Galveston. All right, thank you everyone. Very, very much for your delicious questions. My dear friends, have a great week, have a great Shabbos, have a great Yom Kippur, a meaningful Yom Kippur, and looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow night.

38:05 - Intro (Announcement)
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