Everyday Judaism · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, texas. This is the Ask Away series on the Everyday Judaism podcast. To have your questions answered on future episodes, please email askaway at torchweborg. Now ask away.

00:21 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody to the Ask Away segment of our Everyday Judaism podcast, the highlight of our week, when everyone can just open up to any questions, any questions, and I'll do my best. If I know the answer, I'll say I'll still give an answer. If I don't know an answer, I'll have to get back to you and I'll say I don't know. But for today, today's 16th episode of the Ask Away series, we begin with Eliana, please ask your question.

00:52 - Eliana S. (Caller)
My question is if a woman is in a position where she is unable to go to the shul to hear the shofar blow, is she able to blow the shofar for herself?

01:08 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
That's an excellent question. Excellent question Is a woman obligated to hear the shofar? And if she is obligated to the shofar, can she blow it for herself? So the answer is a woman should hear the shofar. She is obligated to hear the shofar and if she has no alternative she can blow it for herself. There's no reason she can't. Okay, if a woman is trained and she knows how to do it, definitely A woman can blow a shofar for other people who are obligated in the mitzvah. Okay, mitzvah okay.

01:51
But if, if, um, you know, I remember when I was in yeshiva in toronto for a rosh hashanah, someone came over to me and said you know, there's an old age home about six miles away or something. I remember it was just like an endless walk and there's nobody to blow the chauffeur for all the residents in the old age home. Would you walk there and blow the chauffeur for all the residents in the old age home? Would you walk there and blow the chauffeur? I said, of course, there's nothing better that I'd love to do in Rosh Hashanah. I'm serious, I'm being sincere. I really thought that like, literally the best thing you can possibly do in Rosh Hashanah is be selfless. Go walk there, blow the chauffeur for the people, and I did, and it was absolutely incredible. I'd go from room to room and people were so excited that on Rosh Hashanah they're not going to miss hearing blowing the shofar.

02:29
It's very, very important Now if a person can get to synagogue. Part of Rosh Hashanah is installing God as king of the universe. How do you do that? You don't do that as a private person in your room. You do that with as many people as possible. So it's best if a person can figure out a way to get to synagogue. If a person cannot, it's more important that one observe the holiday than get to synagogue. It's definitely more important for a person to observe the holiday than to get to synagogue, meaning if a person can avoid driving, that's best. If a person can avoid any type of desecration of the Chag of the holiday, which is like the laws of Shabbat in most regards.

03:15
There's no mitzvah in the Torah to go to synagogue. There's no mitzvah in the Torah to go to synagogue. There is a mitzvah to observe the Shabbos. There is a mitzvah to observe the Shabbos. There is a mitzvah in the Torah to observe Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So definitely the most important part is to ensure that one is in observance of the holiday, then a person needs to hear the shofar. So we do whatever we can to blow the shofar and even if it's not the greatest blowing of the shofar, still a person fulfills the mitzvah. And do whatever you can.

03:48
I will share with you a story that I heard from Reb Notte Greenblatt. Reb Notte Greenblatt was he was a rabbi in Memphis, tennessee, and he was a very prominent student of Reb Moshe Feinstein and he was known as the get rabbi and the one who would give the get. The get is a divorce document that any man and woman who are married that wanted to get divorced you have to give a special document of divorce to the woman and he was a very, very, very knowledgeable in this area. He had very special training from Moshe Feinstein on the laws of divorce and they're very particular. It's not just like anybody can do it. The halacha says that you have to really, really know your stuff extremely well and he would go around the world and he'd come to Houston.

04:44
I've met him many times. He stayed at my house several times. We had the great privilege of hosting him and he'd come. He'd arrive late at night. This reminds me of another story. But he arrives late at night and the next morning, right after Shachar, right after morning services, he'd have a couple come and he would drop the get and he would do the whole procedure. You need to have witnesses, kosher witnesses, and he would do sometimes three or four in a day. He would line them up on a Tuesday. He would do if he could do them all in one day, otherwise he'll do it the next day as well, and then he would fly to the next city and he would do you know whoever, okay, whoever needed it there. Just to tell you the story.

05:27
So one time he flew to Houston, I was doing our class here at the Torch Center and immediately after class I got into my car, I drove as quickly as I can to Hobby Airport and he's already standing there. He says don't pick me up from the arrivals, pick me up from the departures, because it's at night, it's going to be empty, and he's there standing waiting. So bad, he's a prominent rabbi, he's waiting for me. So you know, I run out of the car and I'm like so sorry. So I take his bag and he bring him into the car and I open the door for him Right when I get into the driver's seat I start driving him to the house.

06:12
So I started apologizing. I said you know, I'm really sorry, I just finished my class and I came here as quickly as I could right after class and I'm like I'm sorry that you're. You know his flight arrived early, of course you know. But either way, I said I'm sorry, I like you know. So he says to me you know, you're a grandchild of Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, you can accept a little bit of reprimand, right? So he said. I said, yeah, you can shell it out. He says nobody cares that you gave a class, you were late. Right, he was such a delightful human being, it was amazing. He was very honest, very straight, and no, because I was giving an excuse to why I was late, just say I'm late, I'm sorry. Don't start giving the whole excuse that you were giving class and you finished a class and he was like it's like nobody cares that you gave a class, you were late and finished. You know it was. Yeah, it was very special Either way. So what I was trying to say is like this he was once in Moscow and the way it works, the way it worked in communist Russia was that he was there to do a get.

07:25
Someone came over to him to ask him a halachic question and they said that because their mother-in-law died, so now they had less people in the family, so they randomly would move them. The square footage would change depending on how many people were in the family. Because the mother-in-law died or the grandmother died, they had less people and they moved them outside of the city to a different apartment that was smaller. And now he was in a walking distance of the synagogue and he said I have to hear the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. He said there's nothing around me, nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing. What am I going to do? I need to hear the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. So he said this is a difficult question. What do I do? So he said you can go on the train. You can take the train to Moscow, which would have a stop not far from the synagogue, and you can go to the synagogue and you can hear the shofar being blown.

08:23
And he wasn't sure whether or not he gave the right psak, whether he gave the right ruling. So when he came back to America he asked Rebbe Moshe Feinstein, his Rebbe, whether or not he gave him the right ruling. And he started crying Not Rebbe Moshe, when he was telling me this story, rebbe Notzah. He started crying and he said and my rabbi said that I gave the right, the right ruling, I gave the right ruling. Now there's a reason why a train is not like a car Because it's taking other people and you're just going on the train. It's different than someone driving a car. It could be very different if you have an Uber driver who opens the door and closes the door. That could be more lenient perhaps. Perhaps I'm not giving this ruling. Okay for those online, please don't stone me to death Perhaps there could be a more lenient ruling in such a situation, but it really is. These are really complicated questions. I had last week a very difficult question Last week on Shabbos. The same ruling would apply on Yom Tov.

09:38
As you know, I'm a first responder and people come to me, people knock on my door almost every single Shabbos with a different medical thing. Like I'm some doctor, I'm some surgeon or something. I can figure out some miraculous. So people come you know just like I'm. Like why didn't you call Hatzalah? Hatzalah is a free, volunteer ambulance service. Like why didn't you call? Like I didn't want to call on Shabbos. I didn't know if this was, if this was life-threatening. I didn't know if this was falling to the category. I'm like, if you're concerned enough to walk here, you can call. Okay, you can call. You're concerned, you're worried? Call and we'll figure it out.

10:16
Okay, actually there was one child, you know, a family brought a baby to the house. The baby almost died and when the father walked in with the stroller with the baby, I said to him what are you doing here? He said I just want you to check him out. I said this kid needs a hospital Now. And the kid.

10:34
When we arrived in the hospital because we have to call it in, they had the entire medical team there. They had all the nurses on a bed ready for this baby, because this baby is in critical condition. Critical condition, they said it's a miracle if he makes it out. The main doctor in the emergency room told us I've been managing this floor, texas Children's Hospital, for over 25 years. I've never seen such a sick baby. Now again, parents, they don't know, they're like, they're concerned, I don't know. He's got blue lips. What does that mean? I don't know. It's like, maybe you know and it's an infant, but you're concerned, call. But it's Shabbos. But the Torah says that life comes before Shabbos. Life, life saving a life, okay.

11:29
So last week someone comes over to our house and says that their spouse is suffering from 10 out of 10 pain from a tooth. 10 out of 10, not 3 out of 10, not 6 out of 10, 10 out of 10 pain. They are like impossible pain for three hours already, or four hours, I don't know how many hours, like insane. So someone's 10 out of 10 pain, that could be a life-threatening situation too, right. So, and I was concerned that if it's a tooth infection they can get sepsis. That's a life-threatening condition as well. I immediately said hold on a second. I made a phone call. We got them into an endodontist who did an emergency root canal, because they did have an infection, and the guy who's as observant as anyone you've ever met. And they got into an Uber and went to the emergency clinic where they were taken care of on Shabbos.

12:30
Now you wonder, it's like, it's an odd feeling, like I'm walking, like I've never walked into a store on Shabbos. I've never, you know, gone into a doctor's office on Shabbos. But sometimes you have to if it's a life threatening situation. So what I'm saying is is that there are the number one priority is the observance of the holiday. The number two priority is fulfilling the mitzvahs that are commanded in a way that is not violating the Shabbos. Okay, I don't know how I got into it. The answer to the simple answer to your question is that you can blow for yourself. You can blow the shofar for yourself. That's the answer. All right. So, with that, my dear friends, next question, let's move it along.

13:10 - Bruce S. (Caller)
My wife asked me I see some hexers say kosher and some say glot kosher. What's the difference? I told her we need to ask the rabbi. He explained it to me a long time ago. He explained it to me a long time ago. But the significance is something that has to do with how they search, inspect, how they inspect the product.

13:50 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
And you told me well, that's a good question for next Sunday, right? I remember the question that you asked and I'm very grateful that you're sharing it with our listeners and our online audience so that we can elaborate on this. So let's get into the laws of kosher and how they so. The laws of kosher are very simple if you know what they are. If you don't know what they are, they seem very, very confusing, very confusing. But here's the bottom line Almost every product that you find today, you can find a kosher parallel to it. Almost any product you can find a kosher. There are kosher symbols, many, many different types, and not to get confused of why we have, I'll just explain very quickly.

14:20
Anything that grows from the ground is kosher. Whether it's any type of fruit, any type of vegetable, they're all kosher. What's not kosher? You cannot eat any insects, any bugs. So as long as they're checked for bugs, you can eat them. So you can go to your favorite supermarket, your favorite retailer, and buy any fruits, any vegetables. They're all kosher. Just inspect to ensure that they're not infested with bugs. Which is why strawberries delicious, but you have to be very careful. You have to know how to rinse them and wash them and check them so that there aren't little, little little worms. And if you look in a microscope if you've seen, you can see these videos online they're not visible to the eye you look under a microscope and you'll see worms, literally worms, walking around some of those strawberries. You got to be careful. There's a very specific process in how to remove all those worms so that you can enjoy your delicious strawberry. And the same is with every single lettuce, lettuce. If you even look at any I'm not going to to mention stores, but if you look at any of those packages that have, you know, the heads of lettuce, you look at the package, just through the plastic, you'll be able to see bugs almost 100 of the time. So that is a process. You can either buy pre-checked, which means someone sat there, looked with a light to ensure that there's no bugs no, no worms in the lettuce leaves, or you can clean it yourself. There's a very specific process. You can look online. There's many, many classes about how to check for bugs with all of these vegetables and fruits.

16:01
By the way, you can have it in an apple. You can have a worm, right, it's not something which is uncommon, right, you can't eat the worm. You can have it in an apple. You can have a worm, right? It's not something which is uncommon, right? You can't eat the worm. You can eat the apple. Get the worm out, enjoy your apple, okay. Okay, so all fruits and vegetables are kosher, except for the insects that may be in them that need to be removed, and then you can eat it. By the way, if there was an insect, it doesn't make it not kosher. The fruit or vegetable, just remove the insect and enjoy the vegetable, okay. Or the fruit, okay. That's point number one. Then there's another type of food. Okay, there is.

16:35
We said, anything grows from the ground kosher, right? That means all types of flowers. Now, again, you want to know that the flour is actual flour. So that means that generally, anything that you bake can be kosher. However, today in many of the bakeries, they can mix in things that are not kosher non-kosher additives, preservatives, things like that that would render the cookie, the cake, the pastry un-kosher, which is why we make sure that anything that we do buy and that was baked also, you have to know that it was baked in an oven that was kosher.

17:19
Now, meat, anything that stands on the ground, like birds, or things like that. We don't eat any birds of prey. There are certain qualifications for an animal to be kosher. Number one it has to have split hooves and chew its cud. So that's a cow, that's a deer, etc. Etc. A sheep, a lamb, a goat, any of those Okay, they have to have split hoos and chew their cud. They also need to be slaughtered properly, okay. So a chicken, a turkey, any of these animals? They need to be slaughtered properly.

17:57
Fish any fish that has fins and scales is kosher. Fins and scales kosher. If it has only one of them, not kosher. Fins and scales kosher. If it has only one of them, not kosher. It needs to have fins and scales, okay. And anything else that swims in the water is not kosher. So catfish not kosher, shellfish not kosher, only fins and scales. Fins and scales, okay, that's it. It's pretty simple, right? We're done. Now we know everything that's kosher, everything that's not kosher. Now, what is glot? Oh? So now let's talk about the kosher agencies. So now I'm a businessman, right, I don't have time to go to the plant to see that it's kosher, so we hire a rabbi to go do it right.

18:44
Houston, we have the Houston Kosher Association and they pay rabbis to go to factories in the Houston and the greater Houston area and they ensure that everything that comes out of that factory is kosher so that we can eat them. We can eat the food that comes out of there. The same thing is with restaurants. You want to eat in a restaurant. How do you know that the restaurant is serving you actual kosher food? They have a rabbi who's supervising to ensure he's not blessing the food. He's ensuring that the food that you're being served with is kosher. That's their job. Their job is to ensure that through the back door they didn't bring in Purdue chicken or Tyson meats. They have to ensure that they actually only have kosher food being delivered and the process in which they're cooking it is actually kosher and there's nothing that's being mixed in that. Every ingredient that comes into a restaurant through the back door is checked off by the mashgiyah, by the supervisor. He's ensuring that the food that gets to your plate is kosher.

19:51
So now you have one in Houston to ensure that the Houston community has kosher access. You have the same in San Antonio, the same in Austin, the same in Dallas. Each one has their own. Each one is going to be identified with a different symbol, not because they're trying to confuse you, but because each one is their own entity. It's their own 501c3. It's their own organization. The same thing with New Orleans has their own kashas agency, and in Las Vegas you have their own cautious agency, and in Denver, colorado, every Jewish community has.

20:23
So it can get confusing. Now there are some big ones like OU, which is international it's the Orthodox Union and that is universal. It's accepted by almost every single Jewish community in the entire world. So if you look at that little wrapper right there, you will see an OU on it, someplace on that wrapper that identifies that a rabbi from the Orthodox Union was in that plant and ensured that your granola bar is kosher and that all the ingredients that were put in there, everything is kosher. And, by the way, if you look, yeah, pass it here, I'll show you exactly where it is. You see it right there. Okay, now if you ever see on these, on these, any of these you buy a bottle of Coke, you'll see all of these numbers and you'll see dates it's the day that it left the plant or the day it was produced in the plant. But all these other numbers, all these other codes, you ever wonder what they are. What they are is giving the exact lot number, the exact conveyor belt, the exact conveyor belt that it was produced on. Why is that important? I'll tell you why it's important Because, well, maybe not for Coca-Cola, maybe not for drinks, but for other things it is. Imagine what else goes on that conveyor belt.

21:46
I was once doing supervision for the CRC, which is also one of the big cautious agencies, the Chicago Rabbinic Council, and they're very, very, very prominent, very well respected, and they asked me to do the for a specific potato chip company that was nearby. So they asked me. I didn't want to do it for long because I have a full-time job here at Torch right, but they asked me for a favor. It's a new contract until they found the rabbi for it. They want to. You know someone to want someone that they know locally who can do it. So I went down there to the plant and we went through the whole process of exactly what I need to look for. I looked at every single drum. They come in massive vats of chips and then those chips are poured into the oil and then it goes through a whole conveyor belt and all of the flavorings are added, everything. So you have barbecue chips, the regular original chips, the pork-flavored chips and the other flavors. They're all the same chips but the flavoring is different.

22:47
It's very important to know what went on that line. First, there was one conveyor belt which was just for the kosher stuff. I went in there for a random inspection one day and I found that they did the kosher line on the non-kosher conveyor belt. They're like I'm like what happened? And I looked at all those what's this? And they're like oh, that machine was down, so we used the next one. You know what you have to do. You have to pull all of those, all of those that were marked kosher. You've got to pull them all off the shelves Because they're not kosher. They were put in the same exact oil that the pork rinds were put in. Right, that's the responsibility of the rabbi, and that was a random check, because you don't suspect that they're going to do something silly like that. But what do they know? They're like this conveyor belt was down, so we use the next one. They weren't doing it maliciously, but that's the responsibility of the rabbi to ensure that such things don't happen.

23:47
So now you have OU, you have Star K, you have Chaf K you have. Ok, these are all internationally recognized labels and they'll go. Because a lot of the ingredients are coming from other countries, they have to go to those plants to ensure that, before those ingredients get shipped to the United States, they're actually kosher and they'll be sealed there by the rabbi who went there. And when they come here they need to ensure that it's still sealed. Okay, just another simple example. When you buy, when you order takeout from a kosher restaurant, one of the things you'll notice is that they'll tape it shut in a way that you can see if it was tampered with, because who's the delivery person delivering it with Uber Eats? No idea what's. If they decided you know what, I'm going to try this food, I'm going to replace it with McNuggets, right, how do you know that they're not tampering with it? Well, if you have that seal tamper-proof seal. Now you know, and that's why it's done like that. It's done to ensure that you're getting the kosher food that you ordered.

25:01
Okay, so now glot kosher. What is glot kosher? So now we know the ideas of kosher. Glot kosher is referring specifically to when an animal is slaughtered. It has to be a kosher animal. We said split hooves, chew its cud. It has to be a bird that is not of prey. But you also have to ensure that it was slaughtered properly. And then you have to ensure after it was slaughtered, that it wasn't a blemished animal, that it didn't have a puncture in its lungs, which is common. That it didn't have another cancerous type of illness that is common. You have to ensure that it didn't have a broken leg, which is also sometimes common, which is why, before they bring the animal to the area of slaughtering, they walk with it to see that it's not limping. They do things with the animal, regular, ordinary things, to ensure that the animal is actually, at least from the outside. Externally, we're inspecting it and it's kosher. Now, once it's slaughtered, they have to check internally to see that that animal is kosher, and what they do is an examination. One of the examinations that they do is that they basically check that the cavity of the animal is smooth. That's glot. The word glot is Yiddish for smooth. They're checking that it's smooth.

26:32
Now I was once at a slaughtering of an animal, a kosher animal. This one happened to have not been kosher, and the shalchet calls me over. I don't like this gory stuff, but the shalchet calls me over. The slaughterer calls me up. He says put your gloves on. I put gloves on and he says put your hands inside the animal. I put it in and I couldn't get it all the way in. He says you know what that is? That's a tumor. It was a tumor. There should be no connection there between the rib cage of the animal and the other organs of the animal. Okay, that's glot.

27:14
Glot is, when it's inspected, that it is smooth and there's nothing there that's interfering. That means it's a healthy kosher animal. So when it's referring to meat products, you will find glot. That's what it means. It means that it was checked. Now can it be kosher and not glot? Yes, it could be kosher. Kosher and not glott. Yes, it could be kosher. It's best to get when it's glott to ensure that it is. It was checked properly. It's only applicable when it's an animal.

27:45
Correct, do they open the lungs and stuff? Yes, they blow the lungs like a balloon. They blow it up, they take it, they really do, and they will see. If it inflates properly, then it was a healthy set of lungs. If it doesn't and there was a puncture, you keep blowing all day it's not going to inflate, right, that's the way it works. So that's why they do it. But that's why, also, kosher meat will cost a little bit more, because there's much more process to ensure that you're getting quality food.

28:14
Now I just want to just mention something. You're like oh, it's the rabbi tax. I know that's a question that's coming, so let me tell you. Okay, some doctor said that organic food is healthier. So they opened up Whole Foods and they charged $26 for a box of cereal. Why? Because the doctor said it's healthier. Why? Because the doctor said it's healthier.

28:40
God, creator of heaven and earth, tells us what a kosher animal is, tells us how it should be slaughtered, tells us how it should be checked to ensure that you have the best, the absolute best, going into your body. Oh, it's the rabbi text, right? It's like when it's a doctor who says organic which which, by the way, the New York Times did an article. They did 150 studies and they found not one proven benefit to organic food. Not one proven benefit. But some doctor said it's better. Everyone's running to whole foods and I have nothing against whole foods right, also Jewish owned right foods right, also Jewish owned right. But nothing go go and we have no problem spending $20 more for a box of cereal because it's organic versus kosher. Oh, that's the rabbi tax. It's a big mistake.

29:32 - Bruce S. (Caller)
Yes, I have a follow-up question that came to my mind because of what you said, with the product being sealed. In this town, in the hospitals, it is very difficult because of the ignorance of the staff to get kosher food and I have spent quite a lot of time in some of the hospitals, quite a lot of time in some of the hospitals, and when I finally convinced and educated the head of the dietary process that you have in your freezer kosher meat I know that because I've been here before Then they finally found it, they cooked it and they opened the seal and brought it to me. I looked at her and I said you broke the seal, it's not kosher for me anymore. I don't know what these people that you have here from all over the world know about how to handle this food. Was I right or wrong?

30:29 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Yes, okay. So it's very, very interesting that you mentioned the first is feel better. We pray for you every day. Feel better. We want you no more in hospitals, only at the Torch Center, all day, every day, learning Torah with us. You're really a great asset to our class, to our inspiration, to our learning, to our wisdom. So Hashem should bless you with only good health.

30:47
When it comes to hospitals, it's very difficult. It really is difficult, and I'm going to say something which is like when my wife was in the hospital. She was in the hospital for our fifth child. She was preterm labor. She went into labor at 28 weeks. She was in the hospital for three, four weeks until the baby. They said you know, we're pushing this baby out. So she was there for quite a while and the chef heard that there's a Jewish family in this hospital. So the chef came to the room and he says tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I need to do.

31:22
It's the head chef of the hospital and you know he went. It's an amazing thing. He went to Belden's. You remember Belden's of blessed memory, right? The great, great, great grocery that we had here that had a tremendous amount of kosher products and he took pictures and he said what can I get you from here? That's kosher that you would eat, that you would enjoy. And my wife made a whole selection of things and he bought frozen, frozen meals and he, he brought them and he had a whole schedule of exactly what he was going to, because he knew but she was going to be there a little bit of a long term it was almost four weeks that she was there and of course I brought food from home and I brought things, but still that was very special.

32:08
You don't always get a chef like that. You know a head chef who's really concerned. He knew exactly what type of ice cream she liked. He knew exactly. He asked her, he went through a whole menu Breakfast what do you want to eat for breakfast? And he made sure that everything in the hospital was taken care of for her.

32:24
One of the things that she said is that the seal cannot be broken. It means you're going to heat it up in a microwave. We don't know what else goes in that microwave. We don't know if it's kosher or not. If it's double sealed, it's not a problem. That's a trick you should always know. My son just called me. He was in barcelona on a stopover with a few friends on his way to back to israel for yeshiva and he's like what can I cook? He's in some airbnb, you know, overnight. He's like I like just double wrap whatever you want to eat and put it in their oven, it's fine. But it's not a kosher oven. But if it's double wrapped it's fine.

32:57
That's why you want to ensure that the food seal is not broken. By the way, most airlines also have kosher food and you can reserve it when you book your ticket, especially if you're flying internationally. And you can reserve it when you book your ticket, especially if you're flying internationally. And sometimes you'll have to remind them. Please make sure not to break the seal, and they have, by the way, on all of the wrappings. If it's a good kosher caterer that prepared the food, do not break the double seal. They have stickers all over it. Do not, please you know, stewards and stewardesses please do not break the seal, okay, because otherwise it's not going to be kosher. Okay, it's not going to be kosher and most knowledgeable people will not eat from it. So that is correct. But I want to say something. In our magnificent Houston community there is something called Aeschel House.

33:48 - Bruce S. (Caller)
Yes, sir.

33:49 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
And the Aeschel House is run by Shimon by by by Lazer and and Rachel Lazaroff, and it's right over there on University Boulevard and if you call them and you let them know that you'll be in the hospital, they will bring you kosher food, home-baked goods, and they are terrific, magnificent people and I urge people to support them and urge people to reach out to them if you need any help, because they're really really very special and they help many, many, many visitors who come from out of town who need a place to stay. They welcome them into their atrial house and they feed them and they take care of all of the patients in the hospitals.

34:29 - Bruce S. (Caller)
That's been my remedy for the situation. I call Eshel House. That's great.

34:34 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
They send over food and additionally, if someone's there for Shabbos, they'll bring them candles or whatever they need for lighting candles and that's permitted by the hospital. Whatever is permitted by the hospital, they know, and the electric ones is fine. And they also they'll bring you challah and they'll bring you the grape juice and it really is very, very special and that's the truth of how we're supposed to take care of one another. Just a few weeks ago we had right over here, sitting in this seat, we had the Sat Merbikah Holim, and the Sat Merbikah Holim had 18 hospitals that they facilitate all of these things for the Jewish patients. Many of them even have sleeping quarters that you can go and sleep, your family member, you're visiting your family.

35:18
I remember my father had open heart surgery in Goodson-Aaron Hospital in Rockland County and I came from Houston, my brother came from Israel, and what are we going to do for Shabbos? We'll sleep in the room, I guess in my father's recovery room, and someone came in before Shabbos. He says no, no, you're not sleeping here. Across the street we own a house and room number two, or whatever room it was, is your room. There are two beds there, there's hot food, there's challah, there's chalant, there's kugel, there's all the food for Shabbos and make yourselves at home. He also showed us that they had, with the hospital, created a manual door so we don't need to go through the electric doors on Shabbat. They created just for Shabbos, for the Shabbos, for those who are observant of Shabbat, they can use a manual door to get out of the hospital, not one of those that are electric and automatic to get out of the hospital, not one of those that are electric and automatic to avoid that.

36:14
But this is the way we are as a people. We take care of the needs of our people. It's very important. It's not only Jews. Non-jews benefit from Bikur Cholom as well. It's very, very important for us to always remember that. Okay, thank you for your question. I hope I addressed it.

36:32 - Marilyn R. (Caller)
Marilyn, please. Last Friday we addressed the importance of self-sufficiency. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime. In the Jewish religion, what is the role of a Jewish woman? To be self-sufficient? Do we teach a woman to cook and man will eat for a lifetime? Be dependent. No, this is serious. This is really, and I have a reason. Be dependent on a man to catch a fish or hunt. The reason for my question is the attitude in Gen X, age 45 to 60, gen Z, shaped by the digital world, have been raised on different tools. They seem to have difficulty finding direction in their life.

37:30 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Excellent question and it could be a mine that will explode, and I got to be very careful with what I say. So let's start from the beginning, okay, you know when my wife and I, almost 24 years ago, got married October 15th 2001, we got married and under the chuppah I gave her a ketubah, a marriage document, and in that marriage document it said that I will provide for her livelihood. If I think back, I don't think she gave me a document in return and I don't think ever in the history of the world any woman has given back a document to the man. This is my obligation to you.

38:22
In the way Hashem created, the way God created man and woman, we're different, physically different, emotionally different and in every way different, intellectually different. We are uniquely crafted in a way by the Almighty to fit a specific role. That doesn't mean that a woman is not capable God forbid. It doesn't mean that a man is capable right all the time. It means that we all have a different job and a different role. It means that we all have a different job and a different role and therefore every person needs to and, by the way, I know women who are career women, who earn significantly more than their husbands do. They're very, very talented, very skilled, very, very bright women, but still, the nurturing of the children comes from the mother, the child rearing comes from the mother. The father provides certain aspects. The mother provides certain aspects, right, but you can never trade that, you can never give it to. The nanny will raise the kids. That's not going to be sufficient, right, she might teach them how to speak Spanish, she might teach them how to eat nicely by a table, but she's not necessarily going to raise them with proper emotions, with proper values, with ethics that the parents can fulfill. So the role of a man and a woman is very, very different and throughout history it was the man's job to go out in the field and provide for his family, not the woman's job. It's definitely not her responsibility to do it. If she wants to do it, go right ahead. If my wife tells me that she wants to go and earn a living, all right, and support the family, I'll be very happy. Okay, I will definitely not say no, no, no, that's not for you. You're not allowed to no, go ahead. But there's a very important thing, and the Talmud, by the way, talks about this what's if a woman does earn money and she says you know what? I want to keep my money for myself and I don't need your favors, I don't need your money, I don't need your things. She could say that she doesn't have to share her income and her wealth with her husband. Okay, eni nizonos, ve'eni, yosa, right, I don't want your, don't give me your money, but you're not getting mine. She could do that.

40:45
Now, that's not typically what we call a harmonious. I talk to young guys who are getting married and I say the first thing you need to do is get rid of your bank accounts, because she has her bank account, he has his bank account, no more. Now you have one bank account. You're becoming one. It's got to be one, you got to be one unit. If each one has their own little separate thing, you're never, you're never, you're never locking it in right now.

41:14
I know there are people who say, well, we have a different way to do it and you know she has her spending money, I have my spending money. This there's. There's uh many ways to. Uh, there are many ways to to to work it out, but the idea in principle is that you have to be a unit and figure out every couple what's the best way for them to proceed forward in the most fruitful way. But I don't think that there's any.

41:43
I think, yes, there is a responsibility on the man to provide for the family. That is the responsibility of the man and it is not the woman's obligation to do so. It's not her obligation. Okay, under the chuppah, there are three things that a man agrees to take care of. He agrees to take care of his wife financially, physically and emotionally. Okay, those are the obligations. Any woman who's ever received a ketubah under the chuppah. Those are the things that a man obligates himself to. He's going to take care of her physically, emotionally, financially. He's going to have a roof over her head. He's going to clothe her. He's going to adorn her with jewels. Right, I'm not kidding. You have an obligation before every holiday to buy your wife a special outfit or to buy her jewelry, to buy her something special. That's an obligation.

42:34
The Torah is not chauvinist. The Torah is not putting down women. The Torah elevates women. In fact, women are the most respected, the most respected and most revered in a Torah observant world. 100%. I say this without any doubt. All right, I hope I answered your question.

42:55 - Marilyn R. (Caller)
We have to go on to the difficulty of the new generation.

42:59 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Okay. So the new generation is a very difficult generation because they're very entitled and they grew up with everything being served to them and if their Starbucks isn't ready when they get to the thing, or their McDonald's or whatever it is that they're ordering, then they throw a fit and they throw it back at the person. You've seen videos, I'm sure, and that's an entitled generation which is really catastrophic because we all know most of us here have some white here, right, we've had some experience. You know, my rabbi used to say he used to say I used to hear this from him all the time he says white, a white. White here means information center, right, that's what it means. It means you have a lot of knowledge and I'm happy I'm getting white a little. Finally, very interesting, thank you, thank you, thank you For those of you who are asking.

43:53
I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. I said to him he stroked my beard. So I was like oh, so you like it? He's like, no, I don't like it. So I said, well, bring the hostages home and it might come off. I said this is my October 7th beard and when the hostages come home, then I didn't have a beard. You remember me? Clean shaven, right, uh, but uh, yes, so this is for our hostages. And if the host? Now everyone started liking it? So I'm not so sure what I do after. But hopefully, hopefully the hostages are brought home today and they're not in captivity for even one more minute, I mean.

44:28
But the problem with the entitlement generation is really really problematic, really really problematic, because everything is instantaneous. I've seen videos of people slamming their phones because the internet wasn't fast enough. Oh, my goodness, you remember the time we had to go to a library to research papers to learn about things? Today, everything is in milliseconds and it's not fast enough. So they slam their phone because they're so upset that it's not going fast enough.

44:59
What's wrong with people? Patience is a very, very important virtue, a very, very important quality we should all continue to invest in for ourselves and to teach it to the next generation. Take a minute to just relax right. And to be responsible is also something that's not really taught enough. If someone has two healthy parents, if a child grows up with two healthy parents, hopefully that's something that they will impart to them to be responsible for their own actions, to be responsible to make sure that they take care of their responsibilities, and that means when they are away in school, that they don't do stupid things and that when they get married, that they're responsible for their job as a husband or as a wife. Each one needs to make sure that they're living up to their responsibilities.

45:52
Right, right, respect is a very big issue, because people have no respect, no regard for anything. There's no regard for anything, even for themselves. That's correct. That's the biggest problem is because people have no self-dignity, there's no self-worth. They carry themselves like trash, they walk like trash, they talk like trash, and it's sad. It really is sad, because you know it used to be. People would fly, uh, they would get dressed up. There would be in a suit and tie. The women would be dressed. It would be because it here, people, god, they're coming in their pajamas. They just got out of bed. They're like they look like a mess. It's like it's not. Not that there's anything wrong with that per se, but you don't value yourself. Who walks around in pajamas in public? It's like, it's just not. It's undignified. It's undignified. A person needs to be responsible for, to carry themselves, for what they feel they're worth and for what other people hopefully think they're worth. And if a person doesn't respect themselves enough, it's a big problem. Great question, marilyn. Thank you, carlos, you always have something special. Let's go.

47:04 - Carlos (None)
Kavodolav, can the Yetzehara read my mind?

47:08 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Oh, the Yetzehara is very, very smart. The Yetzehara can read your mind and he knows what your likelihood is going to be, what your likely choice is going to be. But our sages tell us always keep your yetzahara on his feet, trick him constantly, play games on him. You know, it's like you ever try to do a diet. I was just talking to to a friend of mine this morning about losing weight and he lost 60 pounds. I was like, wow, you look great. So he said, yeah, I've been doing intermittent fasting. I said you know, it's funny, I've been doing intermittent fasting as well, but now my body caught up with it. He's like it's not a trick anymore. Like I get it, like I know what you're doing. You're not going to lose any more weight, which is normal. Because he says, yeah, you have to trick your body. He says you have to do things that the body's not expecting. Keep your metabolism on its feet and then it'll let go of the weight. Again It'll let go. The Yetzhara is the same thing. He's anticipating what we're going to react. You have to always. It says tachbolos, tasel achon, trickery. With trickery you'll overcome the Yetzhara. And that's what we need to do. We need to constantly use trickery to overcome the Yetzhara Trickery. It's very important. Don't just let him have an easy ride. Yeah, this is what I do and he beats me and he beats me and he beats me. No, no, no, you come with the left, jab right. You give him something he's not ready for and the Yetzirah is a real battle. It's an excellent question. So Yetzirah will anticipate what you're going to do, but you have to pull out a new trick and you can win, because God doesn't give us a challenge we can't overcome, particularly the Yetzirah.

48:51
The Yetzirah's job is to try to make us stumble. The Yetzirah's usual methodology is to push things off. Procrastination is a great tool of the Yetzirah. He says why do it now? You'll do it in 10 minutes, you'll do it in a half hour, you'll do it tomorrow, do it next week. It's not a big hour. You do it tomorrow, do it next week. It's not a big deal. You don't have to do it now, you do it next year, right? That's the Yetzirah's ploy. He always tries to trick us with procrastination. So you know what I'm going to do it now, not waiting, not letting that temptation of tomorrow. You can do it tomorrow or do it today already. Why push off something tomorrow that you can do today? Okay, did I answer your question? Good? Thank you, mark. You got any question? Alright?

49:36
My dear friends, thank you so much for joining us in the 16th episode of the question and answer series of the everyday Judaism podcast. We're going to blow the chauffeur to our friends online. We're going to blow the chauffeur, but we have to stand when we blow the chauffeur. This is a special edition of the Everyday Judaism podcast. We're also going to blow the shofar because we're in the special holy days of Elul, the days that precede Rosh Hashanah.

50:02
We prepare ourselves by awakening our soul with the blowing of the shofar, and therefore we're going to do that right here, right now, before we blow the shofar, and therefore we're going to do that right here, right now, before we blow the shofar. Just think of a prayer, think of a request, think of a connection that you would like to instill in your relationship with Hashem. And you're writing out your email, you're clicking send with the blowing of the shofar. So close your eyes, take a moment, contemplate what it is that you want to accomplish this coming year, what it is that you want to do, how you want to be prepared for Shoshana, and let that prayer ascend to the heavens with this blowing of the shofar. My dear friends, have a magnificent week. Thank you so much for joining us and we look forward to learning together throughout the rest of this week.

51:00 - Intro (Announcement)
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